FuZzY said:
You know, when this thread first started I didn't for the life of me expect the responses it has got.
It just goes to show what people go through and have admitted it on here, and the majority of responses to the posts shows how caring you Blues are.
Very true.
My brother didn't quite commit suicide, but he did die by hanging, through a sexual nature. Having spoken with someone this morning about this way of dying it made me think of a play/book that i have seen and read.
About 4 to 5 years ago i saw a play by Tam Dean Burn, based on what is believed to be a true story by Luke Sutherland called Venus As A Boy. While the story is very deep and dark, the sotry tells of a Scotsman from Orkney who travels to London as he feels an outcast on his home island because of his sexuality. Anyway, i'll cut to the chase. In part of the play, going off memory, there is a part where he attempts sexual asphyxiation. Now a year or 2 after my brothers death, this was still raw to me, but to hear what was described was soothing, as Venus' body slipped away due to the lack of oxygen, he began to have vision's of white horses, i think possibly traveling down the street, outside as he looked out the window. This isn't the way the person died, as they were saved.
I spoke to Tam Burn afterwards, and he obviously adapted the play, and he said that Luke says that every detail he worte of was true and was the story of this man. It gave me hope that there is actually a brighter future for us once we pass on. What can be more beautiful than free flowing white horses?
I hope that makes people understand why i get thoughts, i dont think i'd ever do it, but it doesn't stop me thinking about my bro and how i wish i could see him just one more time.
