Ever Thought About Suicide?

Who cares about people,drivers,cars,kids,society, when at the top of a building. Not after no symperthy it was all my own fault. All stArted when I was 13 a knock at the door, a loud knock. Can remember it like yesterday was the police with my sister with blood all over her white dress turns out she had been rapped, tough years followed mum and step dad divorced Sister trying suicide,my real dad a drunk telling the world how my step dad was abused as a child, took it's toll, me my mum and sister new location new start. All was well met my ex sister happy, mum half happy, moved in with ex, her mum and dad in a hotel. Sister mum moved back home. Stuck in a town with no family. Found out ex was cheating, ended up on hotel roof about 20 meters high. Sitting crying how I could not help my sister,how I could not help my step dad over come his fear in life, the fact of being stabbed in the back with someone I trusted, anyways was enough for me so I jumped, smashed my foot,hip,pelvis,wrist,jaw all my own fault I can live with that. My point being when your in that frame of mind nothing matters, I'm am sorry for the passers bye kids, cars , holiday makers. My sister was also diabetic who died a few years latter when pregnant aged 25, only time she seem happy apart from when she went out on her 16 birthday and came home with blood on her white dress. Life is tough, I could mention so much in my life that's been harsh cruel and unfair. Thing is in life we are all dealt with challenges and it's how we deal with them and overcome them time is a healer.
 
kinkladze10 said:
Who cares about people,drivers,cars,kids,society, when at the top of a building. Not after no symperthy it was all my own fault. All stArted when I was 13 a knock at the door, a loud knock. Can remember it like yesterday was the police with my sister with blood all over her white dress turns out she had been rapped, tough years followed mum and step dad divorced Sister trying suicide,my real dad a drunk telling the world how my step dad was abused as a child, took it's toll, me my mum and sister new location new start. All was well met my ex sister happy, mum half happy, moved in with ex, her mum and dad in a hotel. Sister mum moved back home. Stuck in a town with no family. Found out ex was cheating, ended up on hotel roof about 20 meters high. Sitting crying how I could not help my sister,how I could not help my step dad over come his fear in life, the fact of being stabbed in the back with someone I trusted, anyways was enough for me so I jumped, smashed my foot,hip,pelvis,wrist,jaw all my own fault I can live with that. My point being when your in that frame of mind nothing matters, I'm am sorry for the passers bye kids, cars , holiday makers. My sister was also diabetic who died a few years latter when pregnant aged 25, only time she seem happy apart from when she went out on her 16 birthday and came home with blood on her white dress. Life is tough, I could mention so much in my life that's been harsh cruel and unfair. Thing is in life we are all dealt with challenges and it's how we deal with them and overcome them time is a healer.
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Thats all horrific, I was being a mard arse because I was made redundant a while back and having dark thoughts. Time as you so rightly say is a healer and I hope it heals you as best it can and life takes on a happier slant soon, good luck to you and anyone else suffering.
 
Only at one point in my life, ironically enough when I was coming off anti depressants several years ago. It was odd how the thought just popped into my mind from nowhere several times and how easy and comforting the thought seemed.
I'm sure it was something to do with the withdrawal as I've never had it since.
 
gaudinho's stolen car said:
Bigga said:
I must admit, I well up where this thread is concerned and have to physically gulp hard to get past it.

I'm not going to lie, I was glad to see the back of it...
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Sorry Bigga, I thought it might help people put things into perspective.
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Yeah, not your fault. I'm constantly struggling to understand why this thread evokes more emotion in me, than anything else I can I can think of, outside of my family.

I thought I'd battled with and won my inner demons about Life and Death, but now I don't know. I don't think about Death openly. It's like I've pad locked it away, but maybe it's been out and hiding in the Shadows for so long, I just pretend I don't hear or see it!

On the whole, I'm supposed to be this cold fish and I'm okay with that, but this thread hurts me.

Probably knowing there's so much pain that I can do nothing about.
 
I've lost 5 mates through suicide, 1 was a young girl with 3 children two single guys and a guy with 2 children, I have suffered depression on and off for the past 30 years I call them my black moods, it is something I have learn to endure and live with, but the freinds I have lost showed no signs of this, sometimes when you live with stress etc or have suffered you learn to adapt , but I think if it is thrown on the individual suddenly then it could actually be the deciding line between life and death.
 
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