Examples of stupidity.

This thread is excellent, proper made me smile.
I've got quite a few of these, having had a succession of fairly dim girlfriends over the years.
One time I was helping an ex look for a secondhand motor. As we scoured the local ads, she kept commenting on how many one owner cars there were in her particular paper.
Turns out she thought "ONO" meant "only one owner" ffs
 
Sky Blue Thinking said:
A few years ago got in a pub at opening time on a wintery Saturday. Entrance to pub was up a slight incline and there was some ice. Landlord was putting salt down to thaw the ice. Barmaid suggested why not pour boiling water on the ice as that will melt it quicker.
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Seen this one before many a time, including people using kettles to defrost car windows. Dicing with death.
 
Years ago
The elderly neighbour had a gas leak so b4 British gas arrived he told me he put a bucket under the pipe!
 
richardtheref said:
On my bus today I picked a lad up at Peterlee & dropped him off at Dalton Park shopping center. I then went through to Sunderland & returned to Dalton Park an hour & a half later. There he was stood at the bus stop. So he gets back on & says all the shops are closed, do I know why. I says "aye, the lockdown". He then asks for a ticket to Middlesbrough & asks if the shops will be open through there.
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They are fucking brain donors, to a man, up there.
 
Not really stupid, but funny. My M in Law was on the bus going from Piccadilly to Wythenshawe. It was full so she had to stand. The bus was going along the Parkway quite fast so she had to hold the handrail. She was still getting thrown about a bit even then. When the bus stopped near the Mersey the man in the seat looked at her and said " I need to get off now love" she replied "Thanks I will have your seat". He said " no, I have to get off can you let go of my curtain rail please.
 
Telephone call from a Customer once when I was working in Town
He wanted me to call him back from the PhoneBox he was ringing from, So I asked him for the Number
He Said 445 Then told me me he couldn't read the rest of it and I would have to make it up
He must still be waiting!
 
I have a friend in her 40's who went to University and worked as a Teacher. She told me fairly recently that it was only when she took her son to the Aquarium for the first time that she realised that Seahorses were real creatures.
 
LWashington said:
When I was at uni late 1980s a guy on our corridor had been out late Saturday night and emerged mid afternoon Sunday . He went to the shop as he'd missed lunch and went to the kitchen to prepare what he'd bought. We heard swearing from the kitchen and went to find out what was wrong. He was stood there cursing and saying that it wasn't working. We saw he was stirring a jug of gravy. He said to us, "I followed the instructions and nothing is happening". We we're pissing ourselves as he'd bought a packet of gravy because he'd seen the picture of a sunday lunch on the front. He honestly thought that it was a powdered meal, like a pot rice or pot noodle, and beef, potatoes and yorkshire puddings would emerge from the granules.
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No sorry, I can't believe you, that is too good to be true! Rolling around laughing, mind. Even as a joke, it's comedy gold.
 
I just remebered my brother wrote a letter to my dad pretending to be from the council , telling him it was going to cost 2p everytime the loo was flushed , it was a long time ago and he was fumming and another saying there was slugs in the mail boxes eating letters , slug gate
 
Ok, I can't compete, there's too much good stuff here if it isn't made up. But I was told by a friend from Edinburgh that he'd heard an American tourist marvelling at the castle and saying, “And it's so convenient that they built it so close to the railway station”.
 
Lovebitesandeveryfing said:
No sorry, I can't believe you, that is too good to be true! Rolling around laughing, mind. Even as a joke, it's comedy gold.
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It is true, we couldn't believe it either. The factors that caused him to do it were probably that he was still a pissed from his session the night before and also he was one of those people who was blind as a bat without his glasses but to improve his chances with the women he never wore them.
 
On holiday in Scotland earlier this year, and my wife, my son and I were looking for somewhere to eat. We looked at a restaurant called Cafe Fish, but it was closed due to Covid.

As we were driving past, a guy (a complete stranger) was on his phone as he walked past this restaurant. My wife said "Why is that man on the phone to Cafe Fish".

I mean, what sort of thought process can come up with that question?
 
Paladin said:
On holiday in Scotland earlier this year, and my wife, my son and I were looking for somewhere to eat. We looked at a restaurant called Cafe Fish, but it was closed due to Covid.

As we were driving past, a guy (a complete stranger) was on his phone as he walked past this restaurant. My wife said "Why is that man on the phone to Cafe Fish".

I mean, what sort of thought process can come up with that question?
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Excellent! You should have said, in a worried voice, “Actually, I think he's trying to get through to us, because we're close, too. It might be urgent.”
 
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