Examples of stupidity.

[idahoblues]

A mere paper cut, you big girl.

Sob ... whatever ... sob .... tetanus shot too...sob

 

[idahoblues]

Can’t believe he went to the hospital. Must’ve run out of Peppa Pig plasters.

Fuck off mean bitch

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Fuck off mean bitch

Sorry. Action Man plasters.

 

[kaz7]

View attachment 5346

That is a paper cut you wus x

 

[idahoblues]

Sorry. Action Man plasters.

Better

 

[BLUEYESTU]

Years back my ex wife and I moved into a new house. I was carrying boxes into the house and took one into the bathroom. As I dumped it on the floor I noticed a dirty great ring around the bath and being a bit of a clean freak I couldn’t just leave it so I grabbed the cleaning stuff and started scrubbing. However it soon became clear it wasn’t coming off so I boiled the kettle and poured boiling water around the dirty ring and scrubbed again but it still wasn’t shifting. We’d moved close to a B&Q so I walked down there and had a chat with one of the assistants who understood and said he had exactly what I needed. I bought this expensive bathroom cleaner and scrubbed again but the ring still wasn’t coming off. By this point I was absolutely knackered and sat on the floor leaning against the bath; I looked up and noticed cobwebs all over the ceiling so I got the stepladders and started waving a towel at the ceiling. As I did this the towel hit the light shade and made the the light swing and dust fell all over the place. I looked down at the dust falling into the bath and noticed the dirty ring was moving - that’s when I realised; I’d spent fucking hours scrubbing a shadow from the light shade!!!! Never felt so stupid in all my life :-(

 

[richardtheref]

On my bus today I picked a lad up at Peterlee & dropped him off at Dalton Park shopping center. I then went through to Sunderland & returned to Dalton Park an hour & a half later. There he was stood at the bus stop. So he gets back on & says all the shops are closed, do I know why. I says "aye, the lockdown". He then asks for a ticket to Middlesbrough & asks if the shops will be open through there.

 

[Man-chester copperpot]

When my sister was younger going out at Halloween knocking on doors thinking it was “Trickle Treat”

 

[maccieblue]

On a train coming out of piccadilly some dozy woman without a ticket asks the inspector if she can buy a return ticket, when asked where to she replied "back to Manchester obviously"

 

[sky tot]

When I was a kid , house with 4 males and my mum . We had the cricket on the tele , bowler was shining the ball up on his trousers when my mum came out with the classic “ are they allowed apples when they are playing cricket “

 

[mexico1970]

When I was a kid , house with 4 males and my mum . We had the cricket on the tele , bowler was shining the ball up on his trousers when my mum came out with the classic “ are they allowed apples when they are playing cricket “

Brilliant bud, aren't mums great :)

 

[DrBlueBob]

Probably need a separate thread for ‘thick rag bastard encounters’

Tautology alert!

 

[Deleted member 77198]

A mate of mine pulled a bird one night. The next morning we saw him and asked if he’d got his end away, he said yeah. We asked “where did you shag her” and he replied “in the fanny”.

 

[LesBleuMiserable]

I saw the title and thought of the Deep South Republicans and their master the Donald [Trump]

 

[Barcon]

Sitting around the pool bar somewhere in the Caribbean watching the bartender making a margarita for someone. Wife asks if she can have one as well. Bartender asks the first person if they want their glass riming? The wife shouts out, “I want rimming too please”.

 

[Dicko69]

When my sister was younger going out at Halloween knocking on doors thinking it was “Trickle Treat”

My mrs was 33 when she learnt it wasn't "treacle treat"

 

[PannickAtTheDisco]

A mate of mine pulled a bird one night. The next morning we saw him and asked if he’d got his end away, he said yeah. We asked “where did you shag her” and he replied “in the fanny”.

well, to be fair he could have been daring and gone for the poop chute.

 

[fulabeer]

Sob ... whatever ... sob .... tetanus shot too...sob

I got stabbed through the palm of my hand once. The Tetanus shot hurt more!!!

 

[Barcon]

Once had a run in with a bloke on the internet, but it turned out the silly **** used the same username right across the web. Took me about 10 minutes to find the town he lived in, his twitter account (1k+ tweets that could only be read by his one follower) and his porn account.

I wish someone would stalk me.

 

[OffertonBlue]

The girlfriend was doing an oldish house up and went to B&Q and asked for a dildo rail. When the guy started loudly asking all the other staff that "This lady wants a dildo rail. Have we got any in stock?" she couldn't understand why everyone was laughing.