Fake explanation of your user name

I'm a spy for her royal majesty. I was sent to places that you didn't even know were real. The government keep a lot of secrets you see. There is actually another continent in the pacific. There has been a few accidental leaks about its existence to the public but we control the media so twisting it back into control was easy. Anyway, back in the colonial times we came across several other races of humanoids, most of which were treated as slaves during the slave trade. There was a race of small, blue childlike humanoids nicknamed snurfs as they used to produce 'snuff' (snorting tobacco) (unfortunately memories of them stuck around so we decided to make a farfetched children's television show 'smurfs' about them to make sure they were known to be mythical).
Anyway there were also races of kangaroo-men and super intelligent tortoises. The kangaroo-men and the super intelligent tortoises waged war on the western world, many men died but we still won. The defeated enemy were then sent to this mystical 'continent' much like prisoners were sent to Australia, we made sure that relations between the 3 races were very negative so when we abandoned the continent they would fight eachother instead of us.
Many years later we got contact from one of our outposts there saying the snurfs had made an alliance with the kangaroo people. We knew that the best way to keep this 'continent' and its inhabitants under control was to have the option of blowing it up with nukes. So the leaders of the world came to the conclusion that they needed to make an excuse to the public regarding the manufacture of nuclear weapons, and so the cold war 'began' (a complete hoax).

To this day the nuclear missiles are still pointed at that continent and 'lmarkham-blueblood' is the ignition code.
 
I am a Brazilian refugee and my real name is Edison "Edson" Arantes do Nascimento the second, I also have an enormous cock (not sure what thats got to do with my username just wanted to show off really)
 
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