Fapping Off

karen7 said:
Every girl should have a vibrator,buy them one for christmas lol
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When I met my ex wife aged 19 at the time, she said she had never mastubated in her life, which I thought was strange.

I on the other hand was always up for a five knuckle shuffle, despite us having a frequent and healthy sex life. I used to exchange vhs videos with guys at work( don't deny you lot ; ) and one particular day I'd done an exchange but left 2 videos in the glovebox of the car.

It went like this - "I can't find any paracetamol, have we got any?" - Erm, I think there's some in the glovebox of the car hun" I was busy wallpapering the front room at the time so she went to the car to check.

"Did you find any paracetamol love?"- "No, but I found these videos(blank label) care to tell me what they are?"- "Erm, erm, a mate of mine at work lent me some fishing videos, you know, John Wilson, the guy that's always laughing, you know who I mean" - "John Wilson eh, I'll be the judge if they are fishing videos or not!"(guilty as fuck and sweating by now)

"Put them on then if you like and see for yourself"(hoping she'd dismiss them as fishing vids) "OK I will'(wry smile on her face)

She put one on and knew straight away it was no fishing video, but unlike the average bloke, she watched all the boring bits, instead of FF'ing to the juicy action.

About half an hour later had passed until it got steamy I quipped "thought you weren't interested in fishing videos love! ?"

She called me over to then give me a really good BJ before we went upstairs to sort each other out.

I bought her a dildo shortly after, and when we split up, she left with at least 5 toys. Lol.
 
Last edited:
bluemoon risin' said:
When I met my ex wife aged 19 at the time, she said she had never mastubated in her life, which I thought was strange.

I on the other hand was always up for a five knuckle shuffle, despite us having a frequent and healthy sex life. I used to exchange vhs videos with guys at work( don't deny you lot ; ) and one particular day I'd done an exchange but left 2 videos in the glovebox of the car.

It went like this - "I can't find any paracetamol, have we got any?" - Erm, I think there's some in the glovebox of the car hun" I was busy wallpapering the front room at the time so she went to the car to check.

"Did you find any paracetamol love?"- No, but I found these videos(blank label) care to tell me what they are?"- "Erm, erm, a mate of mine at work lent me some fishing videos, you know, John Wilson, the guy that's always laughing, you know who I mean" - "John Wilson eh, I'll be the judge if they are fishing videos or not!"(guilty as fuck and sweating by now)

"Put them on then if you like and see for yourself"(hoping she'd dismiss them as fishing vids) "OK I will'(wry smile on her face)

She put one on and knew straight away it was no fishing video, but unlike the average bloke, she watched all the boring bits, instead of FF'ing to the juicy action.

About half an hour later had passed until it got steamy I quipped "thought you weren't interested in fishing videos love! ?"

She called me over to them give me a really good BJ before we went upstairs to sort each other out.

I bought the a dildo shortly after, and when we split up, she left with at least 5 toys. Lol.
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It's very healthy to watch porn with your partner,i don't know why people don't think women like it,if nothing else you can have a laugh at the storylines lol
 
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Do not knock masturbation, at least you're having sex with someone you love. (Woody Allen)
 
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