Farting in bed

[henrythedogcity]

Wife's just phoned me at work this morning and told me that I actually woke her up in the middle of the night by doing a massive loud fart!!
We've been married twenty years and she says I've been doing it more often recently.
The problem is when she told me I couldn't stop laughing.
She's told me I need to stop doing it or else but how can I stop doing it when I'm unaware I'm actually doing it in the first place.

 

[TinFoilHat]

Are we sure it isn't her and she's blaming you for it?

 

[kinkyblue]

Get a dog!

 

[feedmpenzaandhewillscore]

Classic thread alert

 

[madloaf]

Wife's just phoned me at work this morning and told me that I actually woke her up in the middle of the night by doing a massive loud fart!!
We've been married twenty years and she says I've been doing it more often recently.
The problem is when she told me I couldn't stop laughing.
She's told me I need to stop doing it or else but how can I stop doing it when I'm unaware I'm actually doing it in the first place.

Or else what? If she means you'll have to sleep in a different room then I fail to see any negatives at all.

 

[Scottyboi]

Tell her to stop pegging you before bed then.

 

[smevchenko]

sounds like a 'her' problem to be honest

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Tell her it's the tablets, works for me.

 

[supercity88]

Wife's just phoned me at work this morning and told me that I actually woke her up in the middle of the night by doing a massive loud fart!!
We've been married twenty years and she says I've been doing it more often recently.
The problem is when she told me I couldn't stop laughing.
She's told me I need to stop doing it or else but how can I stop doing it when I'm unaware I'm actually doing it in the first place.

Try to make a game of it.

Ask her to guess the sound you'll make before you do it, if she's right she wins a point is she's wrong you win a point. First to 10 wins...you can decide the prize.

 

[dickie davies]

My wife is terrible for farting in bed
One particular night I was struggling to sleep so pulled the covers up over my head, turned my phone on and started on the day's wordle
Sixty seconds later, wifey let one hell of a fart out and almost gassed me