General / Mental Health Support Thread

Thank you.

They have to look to see if it's spread. As long as it hasn't, then best case scenario is it's 'just' surgery, menopause and accepting I'll never have kids. Not exactly how I imagined my mid-30s going.

I don't know how or when to tell work, or if I should tell my colleagues or just my boss. I don't know how long I'll need off sick or if it'll all be paid. I already had all of January and February off because I was in intensive care with (hopefully not related) respiratory failure.

I'm a bit all over the place I guess. Told my parents about it earlier and I already feel like I'm pretending I'm not bothered in order to stop them from worrying.
 
Lauz9888 said:
Today, I found out I have cancer. I don't know what to do with myself, how to feel or how to react. Doesn't seem real.
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Stage one bowel cancer survivor here. Diagnosed at 42. Sorted within one op (an ileostomy) and I had reversal just last Monday after about 18 months of wearing a colostomy bag. It claimed my dad and grandad too so it was always going to happen.

Above anything, the diagnosis is the first thing you need. After that, you need to find out how they’re going to deal with it. Treatment is incredible these days and survival rates are way up. Hopefully the diagnosis was quick.

Post whatever you need to on here. Bluemooners have your back.
 
Lauz9888 said:
Thank you.

They have to look to see if it's spread. As long as it hasn't, then best case scenario is it's 'just' surgery, menopause and accepting I'll never have kids. Not exactly how I imagined my mid-30s going.

I don't know how or when to tell work, or if I should tell my colleagues or just my boss. I don't know how long I'll need off sick or if it'll all be paid. I already had all of January and February off because I was in intensive care with (hopefully not related) respiratory failure.

I'm a bit all over the place I guess. Told my parents about it earlier and I already feel like I'm pretending I'm not bothered in order to stop them from worrying.
Click to expand...
The good Mrs Ted went thru Breast Cancer during lockdown ....various treatments and surgery, now back at work, and she had an aggresive advanced stage diagnosis. As far as work goes, the call is yours as to who knows. Talk to the good people at Maggies...they will have a branch at wherever to get your treatment.
Above all. Stay positive. and keep the faith. Go well.
 
Lauz9888 said:
Thank you.

They have to look to see if it's spread. As long as it hasn't, then best case scenario is it's 'just' surgery, menopause and accepting I'll never have kids. Not exactly how I imagined my mid-30s going.

I don't know how or when to tell work, or if I should tell my colleagues or just my boss. I don't know how long I'll need off sick or if it'll all be paid. I already had all of January and February off because I was in intensive care with (hopefully not related) respiratory failure.

I'm a bit all over the place I guess. Told my parents about it earlier and I already feel like I'm pretending I'm not bothered in order to stop them from worrying.
Click to expand...
Take a breath lovely , try not to look to far ahead , take it day by day . When you have a plan for treatment things will seem better and you can focus on getting it treated

Not being able to have kids and plunging into the menopause is a lot , do you have close family and friends to lean on ? They can help you but do see your gp and make sure you have support lined up with the surgery , they will see you if you tell them what you want the appt for , go in and ask for an appt rather than ringing

Fingers crossed for you , stay positive lovely xx
 
I’d speak to just a manager at work. Your privacy will remain with them. I wasn’t close to my last lot of colleagues so nobody knew how ill I’d been until I got back to work. I even shared a ward with one of our full time judge’s husbands yet all the team knew was I “looked in a bad way”.
 
Lauz9888 said:
Thank you.

They have to look to see if it's spread. As long as it hasn't, then best case scenario is it's 'just' surgery, menopause and accepting I'll never have kids. Not exactly how I imagined my mid-30s going.

I don't know how or when to tell work, or if I should tell my colleagues or just my boss. I don't know how long I'll need off sick or if it'll all be paid. I already had all of January and February off because I was in intensive care with (hopefully not related) respiratory failure.

I'm a bit all over the place I guess. Told my parents about it earlier and I already feel like I'm pretending I'm not bothered in order to stop them from worrying.
Click to expand...
First, as @ted the grass said, this is not a death sentence. It is a disease which many people have and have had, and there is a massive system designed for tackling it. If there was a “good” time in human history to have cancer, now is the time. You’ll have many people whose job it is to treat and eliminate the cancer. You are in strong position!

Second, we are here when you need to vent; you have a completely judgment free space and will receive nothing but encouragement, support, and good faith advice (if you want it).

Third, these first few days are always really tough. As you have said, it can be hard to determine what should be done with the information as you are simultaneously trying to reconcile it for yourself. This is probably the aspect I can speak more confidently about.

My best advice from my experience is to not take any action for at least a few days, aside from speaking to people you trust about how you are feeling and letting them know you may need their support more in the future. And, of course, anything your doctors advise.

This is a time for processing your thoughts and feelings. The most important person in your life at this moment is you. It is absolutely ok to feel numb, or angry, or confused, or sad, or relieved, or even happy (which can sometimes come with a diagnosis after a protracted and exhausting period of testing, uncertainty, and stress). Or most any emotion or thought. The only one that needs immediate action is thoughts of ending life—you should immediately contact your doctor and/or a help line if that happens.

You need to take whatever time is needed to reconcile your thoughts and feelings with the situation. Don’t let anyone try to rush the process, even if they mean well. Everyone responds differently and everyone has a different path of processing. But you’ll get there, at your own pace.

I would strongly encourage you to stay with someone you trust whilst you work through this initial period, though. It helps to relieve stress and give you an opportunity to focus on yourself. And, honestly, it helps your loved ones feel that they are supporting you, which they’ll desperately want to do.

Above all, try to remember that many others have been here before and have made it through, and if they could do it, so can you.

And we’ll be here, whatever you need.
 
Lauz9888 said:
Today, I found out I have cancer. I don't know what to do with myself, how to feel or how to react. Doesn't seem real.
Click to expand...
Hopefully they have caught it very early and you will be fine..
Like a few have already said it's not a death sentence anymore..stay strong and whatever the doctors say make sure you do it.
 
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