General / Mental Health Support Thread

[Saddleworth2]

This poem comes frequently to my mind. Its very true in some cases and not true at all in some lucky ones.
It acted as a backstop and reminder as I brought up my three not to act as my own parents had acted.

This Be The Verse​

By Philip Larkin
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

 

[PinkFinal]

Actually managed to get on the train to London
I think I was just desperate to get away from home for a day or two so disregarded my usual anxiety about going anywhere

 

[Bettys Bell]

Have a good time in that London .

 

[PinkFinal]

I generally avoid looking in mirrors cos I think I look like I been dragged through hell, which I have, but I have just seen myself in hotel full length mirror and was shocked at how overweight I am now. I'd never been overweight in my life until I began using Mirtazapine in 2016 when I was 49. (They increased the dose a few months ago.)
This is just fucking horrible. Something I don't need at all. I do regular long walks but obviously it's having little effect. Ì'll need to use my exercise bike and change my diet completely.

 

[xgorton]

I generally avoid looking in mirrors cos I think I look like I been dragged through hell, which I have, but I have just seen myself in hotel full length mirror and was shocked at how overweight I am now. I'd never been overweight in my life until I began using Mirtazapine in 2016 when I was 49. (They increased the dose a few months ago.)
This is just fucking horrible. Something I don't need at all. I do regular long walks but obviously it's having little effect. Ì'll need to use my exercise bike and change my diet completely.

Stop putting yourself down mate,you will feel better in time and also don't forget you have people who will be thinking about you.

 

[Kirkstall Blue]

I generally avoid looking in mirrors cos I think I look like I been dragged through hell, which I have, but I have just seen myself in hotel full length mirror and was shocked at how overweight I am now. I'd never been overweight in my life until I began using Mirtazapine in 2016 when I was 49. (They increased the dose a few months ago.)
This is just fucking horrible. Something I don't need at all. I do regular long walks but obviously it's having little effect. Ì'll need to use my exercise bike and change my diet completely.

I’m sure some of those hotel mirrors make me look fat it’s probably a dodgy mirror, if you are concerned then maybe a chat with the doctor about the tablets see if there is another option, steroids have weight gain as a side effect so I’m told.

 

[Bettys Bell]

Stop putting yourself down mate,you will feel better in time and also don't forget you have people who will be thinking about you.

I generally avoid looking in mirrors cos I think I look like I been dragged through hell, which I have, but I have just seen myself in hotel full length mirror and was shocked at how overweight I am now. I'd never been overweight in my life until I began using Mirtazapine in 2016 when I was 49. (They increased the dose a few months ago.)
This is just fucking horrible. Something I don't need at all. I do regular long walks but obviously it's having little effect. Ì'll need to use my exercise bike and change my diet completely.

Take the positives Pink you got out of your comfort zone and are having a weekend away . So good for you the weight you can change . I hate mirrors and having my photo taken I don’t recognise this sixty plus person looking back at me . Still think I’m young ha ha .

 

[PragueBlue]

I generally avoid looking in mirrors cos I think I look like I been dragged through hell, which I have, but I have just seen myself in hotel full length mirror and was shocked at how overweight I am now. I'd never been overweight in my life until I began using Mirtazapine in 2016 when I was 49. (They increased the dose a few months ago.)
This is just fucking horrible. Something I don't need at all. I do regular long walks but obviously it's having little effect. Ì'll need to use my exercise bike and change my diet completely.

I was on that for a couple years. It was effective but nasty side effects, one of which was weight gain. I was relieved when I could stop taking it.

 

[ob]

Filled in questionnaire on Friday as next step to becoming a mental health first aider at work

 

[BrianW]

I'm on Mirtazapine, and it was the first drug that worked - to a point. But I have not put weight on.

A good example of how we react individually to drugs.

 

[PinkFinal]

While I was in London I actually thought about going to Speakers Corner and giving a speech about voluntary assisted euthanasia and about how we live in a singularly cruel period where social isolation, severe burnout and mental illness are rampant and that anyone who doesn't want to participate shouldn't have to.
Perhaps I'd have just been dismissed as a crank I don't know.

Maybe next time!

 

[Nevizade]

While I was in London I actually thought about going to Speakers Corner and giving a speech about voluntary assisted euthanasia and about how we live in a singularly cruel period where social isolation, severe burnout and mental illness are rampant and that anyone who doesn't want to participate shouldn't have to.
Perhaps I'd have just been dismissed as a crank I don't know.

Maybe next time!

At least you're thinking about a next time mate.

 

[PinkFinal]

At least you're thinking about a next time mate.

Well as the saying goes you don't wanna die you just want the pain to end

 

[Bettys Bell]

Well as the saying goes you don't wanna die you just want the pain to end

We all want that for you Pink .

 

[PinkFinal]

Just been out picking litter for an hour and half, had to get out even though it was wet.
It's amazing how many people talk to you if you're voluntarily picking litter.
Once again a shopkeeper gave me a free can of Diet Pepsi.
The community mental health team are ringing me today (Wednesday) it's in theory a life coach type of deal but I don't know what's going to shift the immense doom & fear in my head. It's just agony and it never improves. I think I'll be seeing a psychiatrist again in two weeks. It feels like the Grim Reaper is "taking an interest" in me to be honest. I'll see what they say when they ring me.

 

[ZenHalfTimeCrock]

Just been out picking litter for an hour and half, had to get out even though it was wet.
It's amazing how many people talk to you if you're voluntarily picking litter.
Once again a shopkeeper gave me a free can of Diet Pepsi.
The community mental health team are ringing me today (Wednesday) it's in theory a life coach type of deal but I don't know what's going to shift the immense doom & fear in my head. It's just agony and it never improves. I think I'll be seeing a psychiatrist again in two weeks. It feels like the Grim Reaper is "taking an interest" in me to be honest. I'll see what they say when they ring me.

Every time I read one of your posts on here I get the impression that you are a good person.

Not that there is one, but I wish the Grim Reaper would take more of an interest in the elderly populist scumbag politicians that are fucking up the world right now.

Someone like yourself, who contributes by picking up litter, has already achieved more than they ever will.

A life coach deal sounds like you would receive one-to-one sessions with the same person over an extended period of time. So that might be worth pursuing.

 

[Penfold the Duke]

Just been out picking litter for an hour and half, had to get out even though it was wet.
It's amazing how many people talk to you if you're voluntarily picking litter.
Once again a shopkeeper gave me a free can of Diet Pepsi.
The community mental health team are ringing me today (Wednesday) it's in theory a life coach type of deal but I don't know what's going to shift the immense doom & fear in my head. It's just agony and it never improves. I think I'll be seeing a psychiatrist again in two weeks. It feels like the Grim Reaper is "taking an interest" in me to be honest. I'll see what they say when they ring me.

I'm sure loads of people here will be keeping their fingers crossed that the phone call brings some good news and something positive for you going forwards.

 

[PinkFinal]

I'm sure loads of people here will be keeping their fingers crossed that the phone call brings some good news and something positive for you going forwards.

It's going to be face to face counselling which will hopefully give me the strength to leave the house during the day.

Every day is extremely tough. Due to my weight gain, on Monday I began taking half my usual dose of Mirtazapine. Not a good idea. The difference is very noticeable. I guess the only way to lose weight is to cut out chocolate, biscuits, yogurt drinks, unhealthy breakfast cereals and crisps - all of which I ate quite regularly.

Overall I'm just f*****g angry that I've told them about the chainsaw thoughts and it's made no difference whatsoever to their attitude towards me.
I could hardly be feeling more tormented if they were actively trying to prevent me from getting relief from this never ending torture.
I am now considering actually buying the chainsaw. I've certainly been looking at them online. I'm not saying I'm going to use it.

This is a farcical situation. Or it would be if it wasn't so very serious.

 

[Bettys Bell]

I hope you get some progress seeing a counsellor face to face . You are doing everything you can to help yourself about time the professionals did their bit as well . Keep fighting pink .

 

[PinkFinal]

I hope you get some progress seeing a counsellor face to face . You are doing everything you can to help yourself about time the professionals did their bit as well . Keep fighting pink .

Thanks
Yesterday I spent hours picking litter and also went for a walk for 90 minutes at night.
Was pretty exhausted and was hoping it'd help my very severe depression but it's minimal.
It's pure hell it really is.