General / Mental Health Support Thread

Feeling a bit calmer.
I'm going to try and drag myself out of bed tomorrow and go and see the Michael Jackson film. I should be aiming to go to the mental health centre social , really.

How I do this, day after day, just staggers me.
The pain of this is just immense. The severe stress is obviously a threat to my physical health aswell.

I've got a gig on Saturday and the match before that obviously. Things to look forward to.
 
Not feeling the greatest since I did the Marathon last week.
It's really fucked me up mentally as daft as it soumds, the come down has been horrific.

I keep seeing people who seemingly have everything, nice cars, nice houses, in relationships. Whilst I struggle in isolation, struggling with the cost of living and with a goverment who doesn't help 1 jot.
Surely life should be better than just working?
 
I have fucked my lungs with the toxic mould spray and forgetting my mask too many times, i am on steroid tablets as well both inhalers, i changed the bed today and coughed like a miner, lying in bed thinking what a stupid ****, there is so much to do yet but i will have to get a cleaner in, i have been coughing for nearly three months now since the mould was uncovered so a crash was going to happen eventually

I should be able to use the white vinegar for the paintwork instead but not for a while

It is always a bad sign of depression when i lie in bed for hours not moving a muscle, i know the mentally struggle sorting this out snd the pressure of making decisions and worrying about money would eventually see me here, i hope it is a short visit from the black dog

Merlin has really found this hard, he worries when people are in the house snd everything is noisy because there are no carpets he is a very sensitive soul who likes his routine and everything being exactly the same, he looks stressed all of the time and is pooing outside of his tray, i have the plug in thing and lots of cat nip toys where he eats, he has lost so much weight, i don't know what else i can do
 
I think I'm going to have to buy the chainsaw.
If only to make them understand that I'm very serious - which they don't seem to be grasping .
The depression is definitely getting worse. There seems to be no limit to how bad it can get. Just horrific. I now understand how people can be driven totally insane. It's like some sort of demonic possession. I'm amazed I'm not headbutting the floor to be honest.
I shouldn't have to be playing this game of chess with them.
Still not been to the social at the walk in place. Perhaps I'm scared it won't help and there's no more options.

Was out picking litter for two hours earlier, was hard work but it doesn't flatten the demons much.

If this gets significantly worse I am going to chainsaw myself and I'll fucking do it in public too. I feel I've no choice because it's impossible to live with depression this severe.
 
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Hi Pink, so sorry you’re feeling the way you are today. I would give anything to find a way to help you, and apologise for not knowing what to do. I can’t begin to understand how you feel, but please be assured that I feel for you in so many ways.
I think, if memory serves me right, that you have mentioned you listen to radio 4. I caught a program on there last Monday which made me think of you, and wondered if in some small way it may help. It was discussing medieval ways of approaching Acadia (their term for depression) and I found it interesting, it was by Peter Jones. You’ve tried so many ways to help yourself and I know you have good/better days. Keep going, there is a way forward. You are not alone, we are here for you
 
Thanks blues.
It's got so extreme , it's unbelievable. Pure agony.
They are ringing me tomorrow. But I think that's the coaching thing - which isn't going to tackle my emergency situation.
I've got a couple of things to look forward to this week including a nonleague game tomorrow night.

I'm gonna go for a long walk now.
I'll try and go to A&E tonight.
 
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Just been looking at a letter a psychiatrist sent to my doctor last month in my online NHS files.
It states that they do not believe I'm seriously depressed.
I find this absolutely staggering.
I wish it was true.
OK I'll bow to their greater knowledge and say I'm not severely depressed , but I'm certainly very suicidal.
A word I'd never come across before "dysthymia" is used in the letter a couple of times.
I'm obviously not coming over as being as utterly broken as I feel. If I'm thinking about chainsaws other power tools and other methods of self deletion there's obviously something very very wrong going on in my head.
I chickened out of A&E but I'm on the line to NHS 111.
 
PinkFinal said:
Just been looking at a letter a psychiatrist sent to my doctor last month in my online NHS files.
It states that they do not believe I'm seriously depressed.
I find this absolutely staggering.
I wish it was true.
OK I'll bow to their greater knowledge and say I'm not severely depressed , but I'm certainly very suicidal.
A word I'd never come across before "dysthymia" is used in the letter a couple of times.
I'm obviously not coming over as being as utterly broken as I feel. If I'm thinking about chainsaws other power tools and other methods of self deletion there's obviously something very very wrong going on in my head.
I chickened out of A&E but I'm on the line to NHS 111.
Click to expand...
Next time you talk to somebody you should show them the series of posts that you've made on here (or at least repeat them verbatim if you don't want to give away your online identity). A lot of people will not show as being depressed in a normal conversation and can probalby fake benig okay (especially if it's a phone call). I know these professionals are trained to spot the signs but they don't always come across (you've said that yourself).
 
kaz7 said:
Got a call yesterday from the CBT team with an online appt for monday. I referred myself in march so the wait has been long. I don't think they can help much now as the PTSD is much easier and i have been taught by the psychologist how to cope on the bad days/nites. I was at the dentist twice this week as i have a dry socket after a tooth out last week, he had to dig out some food and make it bleed to start the healing off again, without numbing it, fucking hell that is agony! I have flashbacks and nightmares about the airway and mask i had as i stopped breathing as well as the cardiac arrest and i had to let the dentist take the tooth out and the digging as it had to be done, i was in terror again but it had to be done, i had a terrible nightmare last nite with loads of sweating like i was doing all last year so i am extremely triggered at the moment, he wants to take another one out next week but i don't think i can, this one has taken three courses of antibiotics since before it came out and again now, my immune system is still not doing the best job

And breathe lol
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Had a tooth out last week-and now have a dry socket-my days, the smell this morning..and my breath would stop a horse. I have to wear a mouth guard at night because of bruxism-and I nearly threw up when I smelt it this morning. Dentist has packed it so hopefully it heals.

Also been using tolak on my nose for 3 weeks to treat pre cancer cells-my nose is a sodding mess.

My mental health has been up and down since I retired-and I was diagnosed with PTSD a couple of years ago..my outlet has been exercise-loads of it-I value every day that my body can move because its not always guaranteed in life.

I suffered terribly from depression as a young man after graduating-I've read this thread with interest esp from my own experience looking back-the only thing that helped me was time. But I think I've always been prone to having bouts of depression throughout my life-I just try to be kind to myself, its not a weakness..
 
SMB75 said:
Not feeling the greatest since I did the Marathon last week.
It's really fucked me up mentally as daft as it soumds, the come down has been horrific.

I keep seeing people who seemingly have everything, nice cars, nice houses, in relationships. Whilst I struggle in isolation, struggling with the cost of living and with a goverment who doesn't help 1 jot.
Surely life should be better than just working?
Click to expand...
I've just noticed your name is in white, hopefully that doesn't mean you have deleted your account?
The mara come downs are shite, I've had enough of them!! You just have to pick yourself up somehow and keep marching.
Hope all's ok
 
JRockBlues said:
Next time you talk to somebody you should show them the series of posts that you've made on here (or at least repeat them verbatim if you don't want to give away your online identity). A lot of people will not show as being depressed in a normal conversation and can probalby fake benig okay (especially if it's a phone call). I know these professionals are trained to spot the signs but they don't always come across (you've said that yourself).
Click to expand...

I think they think I'm exaggerating or lying (even about the chainsaw) to get electro convulsive therapy. Absolutely checkmate.
I guess they'll believe me if I turn up at the mortuary.
 
I (as some may remember) fought against going to counselling for over a year. This was because my previous experience was that it was a waste of everyone's time. This time, I must admit, it has helped. The guy suggested that I needed a new 'project' for want of a better word—something to occupy my mind.

I have retired to my bolthole in the country, courtesy of my cousins, who have been a massive help. Here, I have done a lot of thinking, away from the daily pressures. I have decided to republish a book of mine that has been out of print for the best part of 20 years, and also to write a sequel. This will give me the structure I need. I expect to put at least one, and maybe two, full days a week into full-time work instead of moping around.

This is great progress, considering that just over a month ago, I was ready to top myself. It was either that, or ask to be sectioned or taken in as a voluntary patient. This was what persuaded me, much against my will, to go to counselling as I knew I was fast getting out of control.

It has taken well over a year to get here. Several factors have helped - the support of my cousins, my mates who have persisted with me, the counselling sessions, the drugs I am on, and not least my decision to start going to church regularly. (I have found a really supportive community there.)

Of course, the depression is still there. It never goes away and never will. And what has worked for me would not help someone in different circumstances. For example, if you have no family or no family that gives a shit about you, that is in itself an aggravating factor.

The only advice I can offer is 'don't give up'. But I also fully understand why some people want to do just that. The support you get from the NHS or what might be called statutory services is pretty fucking minimal. And the wider community has little sympathy, if any, for mental issues.
 
BrianW said:
I (as some may remember) fought against going to counselling for over a year. This was because my previous experience was that it was a waste of everyone's time. This time, I must admit, it has helped. The guy suggested that I needed a new 'project' for want of a better word—something to occupy my mind.

I have retired to my bolthole in the country, courtesy of my cousins, who have been a massive help. Here, I have done a lot of thinking, away from the daily pressures. I have decided to republish a book of mine that has been out of print for the best part of 20 years, and also to write a sequel. This will give me the structure I need. I expect to put at least one, and maybe two, full days a week into full-time work instead of moping around.

This is great progress, considering that just over a month ago, I was ready to top myself. It was either that, or ask to be sectioned or taken in as a voluntary patient. This was what persuaded me, much against my will, to go to counselling as I knew I was fast getting out of control.

It has taken well over a year to get here. Several factors have helped - the support of my cousins, my mates who have persisted with me, the counselling sessions, the drugs I am on, and not least my decision to start going to church regularly. (I have found a really supportive community there.)

Of course, the depression is still there. It never goes away and never will. And what has worked for me would not help someone in different circumstances. For example, if you have no family or no family that gives a shit about you, that is in itself an aggravating factor.

The only advice I can offer is 'don't give up'. But I also fully understand why some people want to do just that. The support you get from the NHS or what might be called statutory services is pretty fucking minimal. And the wider community has little sympathy, if any, for mental issues.
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You have done so well to get where you are now, i am actually in awe of you x
 
kaz7 said:
You have done so well to get where you are now, i am actually in awe of you x
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It's at least as much down to other people as to me. And I do have many advantages, like, at my age, not having to work for a living.

I feel for people with no support, living on a pittance, as no one really gives a fuck. Indeed, the Daily Mail encourages their persecution. No wonder there's a mental health crisis among younger people.
 
BrianW said:
I (as some may remember) fought against going to counselling for over a year. This was because my previous experience was that it was a waste of everyone's time. This time, I must admit, it has helped. The guy suggested that I needed a new 'project' for want of a better word—something to occupy my mind.

I have retired to my bolthole in the country, courtesy of my cousins, who have been a massive help. Here, I have done a lot of thinking, away from the daily pressures. I have decided to republish a book of mine that has been out of print for the best part of 20 years, and also to write a sequel. This will give me the structure I need. I expect to put at least one, and maybe two, full days a week into full-time work instead of moping around.

This is great progress, considering that just over a month ago, I was ready to top myself. It was either that, or ask to be sectioned or taken in as a voluntary patient. This was what persuaded me, much against my will, to go to counselling as I knew I was fast getting out of control.

It has taken well over a year to get here. Several factors have helped - the support of my cousins, my mates who have persisted with me, the counselling sessions, the drugs I am on, and not least my decision to start going to church regularly. (I have found a really supportive community there.)

Of course, the depression is still there. It never goes away and never will. And what has worked for me would not help someone in different circumstances. For example, if you have no family or no family that gives a shit about you, that is in itself an aggravating factor.

The only advice I can offer is 'don't give up'. But I also fully understand why some people want to do just that. The support you get from the NHS or what might be called statutory services is pretty fucking minimal. And the wider community has little sympathy, if any, for mental issues.
Click to expand...
Book, church and rural living sound very good.

But just as there's a BM rule about not mentioning hot women without pictures - WHAT'S THE BOOK ABOUT?
 
PinkFinal said:
Just been looking at a letter a psychiatrist sent to my doctor last month in my online NHS files.
It states that they do not believe I'm seriously depressed.
I find this absolutely staggering.
I wish it was true.
OK I'll bow to their greater knowledge and say I'm not severely depressed , but I'm certainly very suicidal.
A word I'd never come across before "dysthymia" is used in the letter a couple of times.
I'm obviously not coming over as being as utterly broken as I feel. If I'm thinking about chainsaws other power tools and other methods of self deletion there's obviously something very very wrong going on in my head.
I chickened out of A&E but I'm on the line to NHS 111.
Click to expand...
Surely they should be giving answers to this.

"WHY" do they not believe you. WHO doesn't believe you.

What is dysthymia - and what are they planning to do about it.

I know you've said that you've been booked some appointments so make sure they really take in your situation. Like someone said - make sure they understand the desperation you've told people on here.
 
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