General / Mental Health Support Thread

PinkFinal said:
Just been picking litter for three and a half hours and I barely feel any better.
The torment I'm suffering is just unbearable.
What am I supposed to do if I'm suffering life threatening depression and they are denying me life saving treatment?
I feel I have no choice other than to kill myself.
As I've said time and time again it's just impossible to live with depression this brutal.
I hope I can go to the mental health centre tomorrow but I doubt I'll be able to do this.
I feel like I'm close to cracking up completely.
And if that happens maybe it has to happen.
If I end up making a "fool" of myself in public, so what ? I've got nothing to lose.
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Morning. Pink have you shown your gp or mental health professionals any of your posts on here? . They need to understand the severity of your situation you have said in other posts you come across as calm at appointments maybe show them how bad it is for you everyday. Take care . X
 
Bettys Bell said:
Morning. Pink have you shown your gp or mental health professionals any of your posts on here? . They need to understand the severity of your situation you have said in other posts you come across as calm at appointments maybe show them how bad it is for you everyday. Take care . X
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I'd have thought my chainsaw thoughts would have indicated to them the severity of my situation but they probably think I'm lying to get ECT. The psychiatrist asked me if I'd gone to A&E in the hope of getting ECT. It feels like I'm being forced to wait until I sink into insanity or psychosis before I'm hospitalised or otherwise helped. It's absolute torture as you might expect.
 
PinkFinal said:
I'd have thought my chainsaw thoughts would have indicated to them the severity of my situation but they probably think I'm lying to get ECT. The psychiatrist asked me if I'd gone to A&E in the hope of getting ECT. It feels like I'm being forced to wait until I sink into insanity or psychosis before I'm hospitalised or otherwise helped. It's absolute torture as you might expect.
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I’m on a line here, but I think it needs saying. Thoughts of ‘self deleting’ via a chainsaw, to them, may come across as unrealistic. I’m not saying those thoughts aren’t in your mind - you’ve stated it enough that it is. To hurt yourself with a chainsaw is something that would require that much self control I don’t know if it’s possible. I’m not in your situation though.

I think you need to not say things like that. They may deem it untrue. Present yourself at as many places as you can and show your desperation for help, not self deletion as you put it.

I hope I’ve worded that as carefully as I can. You are clearly in need of help. I just don’t think those words will get it. Keep posting.
 
LangleyBlue1970 said:
I’m on a line here, but I think it needs saying. Thoughts of ‘self deleting’ via a chainsaw, to them, may come across as unrealistic. I’m not saying those thoughts aren’t in your mind - you’ve stated it enough that it is. To hurt yourself with a chainsaw is something that would require that much self control I don’t know if it’s possible. I’m not in your situation though.

I think you need to not say things like that. They may deem it untrue. Present yourself at as many places as you can and show your desperation for help, not self deletion as you put it.

I hope I’ve worded that as carefully as I can. You are clearly in need of help. I just don’t think those words will get it. Keep posting.
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Someone in A&E said I'd probably pass out before I got very far with a chainsaw.
This is a truly.agonising situation I'm in and I just do not know what to do for the best.
Ten years ago I had my one and only spell on a psychiatric ward. I think I only ended up on a ward because I told them I'd had thoughts of killing my parents "to spare them the distress of dealing with my suicide" so the bar for being admitted onto a ward is clearly very high.
 
PinkFinal said:
Someone in A&E said I'd probably pass out before I got very far with a chainsaw.
This is a truly.agonising situation I'm in and I just do not know what to do for the best.
Ten years ago I had my one and only spell on a psychiatric ward. I think I only ended up on a ward because I told them I'd had thoughts of killing my parents "to spare them the distress of dealing with my suicide" so the bar for being admitted onto a ward is clearly very high.
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Again, i don’t know how to word things, but present yourself anywhere you can. There will be someone out there who will help you.
 
I don't know how to say this.

I believe I'm at very serious risk of suicide.
I believe something has to change this weekend.

My existence is just agony and I cannot get out of this rut. I've tried and it's not happening.
I don't know how much worse things have to get before I'm hospitalised or otherwise helped. It feels like I'm being forced into suicide in practical terms given that there are things they could do and they are not doing. For whatever reason. It feels like they have "written off" people like me.
This isn't a life. It's simply impossible to live with depression this severe, long term.
If you could wear my head for ten seconds you'd be staggered at how severe it is and you'd be staggered I could even do anything but rot in bed.
 
PinkFinal said:
I don't know how to say this.

I believe I'm at very serious risk of suicide.
I believe something has to change this weekend.

My existence is just agony and I cannot get out of this rut. I've tried and it's not happening.
I don't know how much worse things have to get before I'm hospitalised or otherwise helped. It feels like I'm being forced into suicide in practical terms given that there are things they could do and they are not doing. For whatever reason. It feels like they have "written off" people like me.
This isn't a life. It's simply impossible to live with depression this severe, long term.
If you could wear my head for ten seconds you'd be staggered at how severe it is and you'd be staggered I could even do anything but rot in bed.
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Hi Pink Final can I send you a direct message?
 
PinkFinal said:
I don't know how to say this.

I believe I'm at very serious risk of suicide.
I believe something has to change this weekend.

My existence is just agony and I cannot get out of this rut. I've tried and it's not happening.
I don't know how much worse things have to get before I'm hospitalised or otherwise helped. It feels like I'm being forced into suicide in practical terms given that there are things they could do and they are not doing. For whatever reason. It feels like they have "written off" people like me.
This isn't a life. It's simply impossible to live with depression this severe, long term.
If you could wear my head for ten seconds you'd be staggered at how severe it is and you'd be staggered I could even do anything but rot in bed.
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Sent you a direct message..
 
Not asking for help but just want to reinforce a point. I attended the funeral of one of my closest friends over the last 25 years last week. He was married, two kids, house, and took his own life. I have not spoken to him in two years. No warning.

I think the thing is, there is no problem that cannot be beaten. Never feel like there is no way out. There is always a way out.
 
SamTheGuru said:
Not asking for help but just want to reinforce a point. I attended the funeral of one of my closest friends over the last 25 years last week. He was married, two kids, house, and took his own life. I have not spoken to him in two years. No warning.

I think the thing is, there is no problem that cannot be beaten. Never feel like there is no way out. There is always a way out.
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I often wonder what % of people who take their own lives seek help beforehand
 
PinkFinal said:
Just been picking litter for three and a half hours and I barely feel any better.
The torment I'm suffering is just unbearable.
What am I supposed to do if I'm suffering life threatening depression and they are denying me life saving treatment?
I feel I have no choice other than to kill myself.
As I've said time and time again it's just impossible to live with depression this brutal.
I hope I can go to the mental health centre tomorrow but I doubt I'll be able to do this.
I feel like I'm close to cracking up completely.
And if that happens maybe it has to happen.
If I end up making a "fool" of myself in public, so what ? I've got nothing to lose.
Click to expand...
I have been there mate, mostly beat it, and know what you are going through. I am proof that you can beat it with the right help.

If you ever wanna talk to me you can PM me. People do care about others in our community. I know you feel all alone, but people here have rallied to let you know you aren't.

Take care mate. I will be thinking about you.
 
Went out picking litter for three and a half hours last night. Loads of people thanked me , yeah some of them had probably had a few but even so.... A shopkeeper gave me some ice cream too. Result!
This is practically my social life LMAO
I'm suffering as usual today. The same fear shame guilt and self hatred.
I hope to go to the social at the mental health centre this week. It's really the only thing that can save me.
 
PinkFinal said:
Went out picking litter for three and a half hours last night. Loads of people thanked me , yeah some of them had probably had a few but even so.... A shopkeeper gave me some ice cream too. Result!
This is practically my social life LMAO
I'm suffering as usual today. The same fear shame guilt and self hatred.
I hope to go to the social at the mental health centre this week. It's really the only thing that can save me.
Click to expand...
I’m willing you to go to the mental health centre sending you virtual moral support. Look after yourself . X
 
PinkFinal said:
Went out picking litter for three and a half hours last night. Loads of people thanked me , yeah some of them had probably had a few but even so.... A shopkeeper gave me some ice cream too. Result!
This is practically my social life LMAO
I'm suffering as usual today. The same fear shame guilt and self hatred.
I hope to go to the social at the mental health centre this week. It's really the only thing that can save me.
Click to expand...
Well done for getting out mate, keep posting on here and keep us updated with the gigs and the litter picking
 
PinkFinal said:
Went out picking litter for three and a half hours last night. Loads of people thanked me , yeah some of them had probably had a few but even so.... A shopkeeper gave me some ice cream too. Result!
This is practically my social life LMAO
I'm suffering as usual today. The same fear shame guilt and self hatred.
I hope to go to the social at the mental health centre this week. It's really the only thing that can save me.
Click to expand...
We're all with yer, Pink; shoulders back and smash it!

Nice one bagging the ice cream. I've got a sudden craving for Mint Viennetta now...
 
PinkFinal said:
I'm just trying to hang on until the World Cup begins which I hope will be a big distraction.
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Might do you good to get out into the open air, join a hiking club who organise trips out into the country, something like that. You're just looking at the same four walls; tends to magnify issues, did with me anyway...
 
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