Brilliant post, PB. I'd like to add a real-life example.
One of the things I learnt the most from early in my career was this:
When I first got into people management, at a big corporation, I'd become manager of a team. As part of a restructure I had to choose someone to be Team Leader of each of my three teams. All of the staff knew me well , and for two of the teams the choice was obvious.
But for one of the teams it was neck and neck between two people, both of whom I managed very closely and had a strong business relationship with. I made my decision, but as this was a brand new restructure of the company, the MD wanted to announce all these promotions one night at a big company get-together/jolly. I really wanted to talk to the guy who;d been overlooked and explain why - I was still giving him a title of "Senior" which he hadn't had before but he wasn't going to get the job. But I didn't, I obeyed the MD and the whole thing was annnounced to the whole company.
The guy who'd been overlooked - a damn good employee but not quite management - immedaitely left the get together in a fury. He took a week off sick then when he came back handed his notice in. He was absolutely hurt to the quick that things had been handled this way.
I learnt a lot from that. I lost a great employee through not obeying my instincts on man management. People need to be talked to, to have decisons explained clearly and as honestly as you can. That's what gets them bought into you.