Totally agree with you, being a FOC I saw City in a couple of League Cup Finals in the mid 70s and the FA Cup final and replay in 81 (which i considered myself very fortunate to have done)As each year went by without another major final I always thought 'maybe this year', and I was disappointed each year we got knocked out, 1993 in particular stands out as I really did think that was our year! (I did go to the play off final at the old Wembley, but that's a whole different story ofcourse!)That is something I've never understood. We used to do it ourselves back in the day playing a weakened side to save players for league games and plenty of clubs still play weakened sides for the same reason. Most fans don't just want the mediocrity of relegation, survival they want to see their club progress each round with a chance to dream of walking down Wembley Way.
Newcastle fans are desperate to win a meaningful trophy as it's 69 years since their last when they won the FA Cup in 1955 and most of them weren't alive back then! I reckon 90% of Geordies would take winning the FA Cup this season if it meant they'd be relegated, that's how desperate they are!
Look at West Ham winning the Europa Conference League last season, it meant the world to Hammers fans and i was delighted for them even though many opposition fans taunted them for winning a trophy they saw as worthless.
Most fans never get to see their teams in a major Wembley final (either live or even on TV) As you say the West Ham fans would have loved that final you mention, the likes of Coventry, Norwich, Wimbledon, Birmingham, Swansea, Portsmouth etc fans who have see their teams win one major final in recent memory likewise. I like many other blues used to think 'if they can do it, why can't we?'.
Newcastle fans must feel the same at the moment for sure, as you mention.
Obviously there is the financial pressures of getting promoted/avoiding relegation/ getting into Champions League but a Wembley final is still very special to me.
As I only do 2/3 games a season these days I obviously wouldn't get generally get tickets for a final.
The only one I've been to at the new Wembley was the Chelsea League Cup Final.
Not a great game by any means, but I still loved seeing the team I'd seen lose 20 odd years previously to the likes of Lincoln and Wycombe (I was in the minority not at York!) lift a major trophy there.
I can't say I watch every final or even a lot of games on TV City aren't in at (especially if the chosen red shirted ones are) but I did make a point of watching the highlights of the Ipswich v Maidstone match yesterday.
In my opinion the FA Cup especially is still up there as one of the greatest competitions in World sport