I'm always slightly wary of the parody threads along these lines on blue moon, but having had terrible neighbours twice at our old home, I can't help but have sympathy with anyone who has the misfortune to live next to somebody who never learnt the meaning of the phrase "don't shit where you eat".
If you don't want the full story below, short version is sometimes it's best to just move.
First time was some meathead who moved in to his auntie's house when she moved away and decided to rent to family rather than sell. They weren't particularly friendly anyway, communicating in a series of grunts and shouts, but it all came to a head on boxing day when they came home drunk and played booming loud music until the early hours. When my wife came home from her shift she asked if they'd mind turning it down, to which she was chased into the house and threatened with having her head punched in. Police were called, they hid like cowards, didn't see them again actually, and we eventually went to our former neighbour directly and told her what her buffoon of a nephew was doing, she was mortified and kicked him out before new year.
Next neighbours were pretty much great..young family, same as us, occasionally a crying baby but we had that too so all good.
But when they split and moved on we got Frau Megamouth and her partner Thicko McCuntyface. Acquired the house during COVID, claimed they were doing it up and blocked every window up with plywood and used it as a party base for everything, yet had two other properties they were selling so just used to go from one to the other depending on where they were or who they'd upset I think. One night we heard them entertaining and she shouts out "I'm a granny and it's not my first threesome!" I think she was probably not even forty yet, but my god she looked twenty years older and clearly liked a burger as much as a beer. Constantly taking or toking something, once the dick chopped down a load of trees and burned them when I had my kids school clothes out to dry and ruined the lot, his dog kept crapping in our garden and on one occasion got stuck so he just helped himself by jumping over the gate in to our back garden and started snooping around - bearing in mind this was a bungalow and my two young girls had bedrooms right there. Got him on camera and he still denied everything, but told him in no uncertain terms he's on nonce watch now. It was also very much a retirement area, and COVID scared the crap out of everyone there and we lost elderly neighbours almost weekly it felt, so eventually of course they got reported and were fined. Trouble was, lady gobshite thought it was us and screamed through the walls that she'd get us back and kill us all for reporting them, my two girls heard it all. Not long after she left him for having an affair, after a full blown all night argument in which the whole street heard the details, whilst she was away, and unfortunately we could when hear such things were happening and if she thinks it was just the once then she's living in lalaland. Tramps attract tramps.
Eventually we moved despite being months off paying our mortgage off we decided to take on a new one, move up the property ladder, and take that the peace of mind was better than living next to nutters. I did hear that there was some unfortunate damage to their home a few months after we left, a window was bricked and the dog unfortunately passed away, and I strongly suspect that it was very much linked to them being knobs, allegedly, in my opinion.
Sometimes it's unfortunately best to walk away. It's unfair, it's your house, your life. But like when you get dog shit on your favourite trainers, if you just can't get it off and it still stinks, get a new pair.
