How much to key it?

Clown Car?
Yep. In February it drives along the engine making a whining sound "quad, quad, quad, quad...." sound then in April it explodes and 3 of its wheels fall off leaving the owner, like the team they support, open to embarrassment and howls of laughter.
 
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No sweat, 5 mins after it was parked up it was used in a post office robbery, the alloys and stereo were nicked and the burnt out shell was found in a park in Toxteth.
 
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I’d sooner be late than have a lift.
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