I think the rags have actually scripted it themselves already (see 'sad cafe in meltdown' thread):
"I'll drink my own piss if cITEH beat us on Sunday"
"we won the corner count"
"Apart from the 6 goals they scored I thought we contained them pretty well.."
"Maybe if we had played Berbatov we'd have won."
"We DOMINATED the first 30mins and should have made it count.. With Berbatov we would had won the game. period."
"it's alright, we've got Sir Alex - he'll get us out of it, we'll come ... you'll see in May. We'll still be champions" (got to be the women outside in the corridor)
"they're a worthless load of shite, who have been gifted this team through one rich man."
"I actually think Anderson's performance at the weekend is a good example of the type of all-round central midfield display that you won't ever get from Silva"
"Silva? He's over rated, we just forgot who to close players down today"
And my personal favourite: "it wasn't as bad as some are making it out to be".
And now one of my own (with tongue firmly in cheek): "Those who had money on City to win 6-1 stay in the room. Everyone else, fuck off back to London."