Joke thread

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[hammocity]

View attachment 32611

The “self isolation” and “I’ve got Covid” is an oven ready excuse to coin a phrase.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

The “self isolation” and “I’ve got Covid” is an oven ready excuse to coin a phrase.

I’d love to, but I have to self isolate for the rest of my life.

New best rejection line.

 

[blue44]

 

[fanatic1]

It's a rooftop bar in an upmarket Manhattan hotel. There's only one customer sipping a cocktail as he gazes at the New York skyline. The bartender is quietly polishing glasses in the background.

Suddenly a youngish muscular, slightly tipsy guy enters and walks up to the drinker. He says "I just love this bar - the thermals and wind currents are amazing" With that he throws himself off the edge. The customer is horrified at this but the other guy immediately reappears.

"You know he says - what an adrenalin buzz - you should really try it" and repeats the feat with 2 spectacular back flips thrown in. The customer is convinced and throws himself off. There is a sickening crash, screams and traffic horns at street level.

The bartender looks up and says "You know you can be a right **** when you're in civvies and pissed Superman"

View attachment 32665

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]