Two Gun Bob
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 2 Apr 2010
- Messages
- 12,442
Thank you.
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Hayley Croppers chopper
Well-Known Member
I also have all 5.
prestonibbo_mcfc
Well-Known Member
I'm saving one for seven.
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
An Australian rugby fan, a South African rugby fan and a New Zealand rugby fan are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze...
when Saudi police rush in and arrest them.The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia.
By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the benevolent sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the sheikh announced, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The South African was first. He thought for a while, then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back."
This was done, but the pillow lasted only 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done, the South African had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Australian was next up. After watching the South African's horror, he said smugly, "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could take only 15 lashes before the whip went through and the Australian was soon led away whimpering loudly (as they do).
The New Zealander was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the sheikh turned to him and said, "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thank you, your most royal and merciful highness," the Kiwi replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20 lashes but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish"?
"Tie the Australian fucker to my back."
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LWashington
Well-Known Member
Sounds like the worst Generation Game conveyor belt ever, not even a cuddly toy ffs.
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
William and Shakespeare...
Were traveling together and came across a small village. Both being poets, the crowd of people wanted to know whom was the best poet and conducted a contest amongst William and Shakespeare. Shakespeare, with smugness, decided to go first. The mayor gave Shakespeare the word, "Timbuktu" to come up with a poem including the word. Shakespeare, nervously cleared his throat and began."Deserts-a-blazin', friary sands, they all headed in their caravans to Timbuktu." The crowd cheers with delight.
Next comes William, cocky as ever...
"Me and Tim, a huntin' we went, found 3 maidens in a tent. With them a 3, and us a 2, I bucked one, and Timbuktu."
You have those shoes !
roman totale
Well-Known Member
Bog paper is different too. I therefore assume my IQ is even biggerer.An added penis
Extended tits
Different colour socks
No toilet flusher
Handles on cabinet missing.
I thank you:
jaseisblue
Well-Known Member
I was reading a bit of blurb about Hubble and the discovery of the Andromeda galaxy. The picture shows a plate of said galaxy, but what made me chuckle was the VAR! scribed on the corner. They were second checking shit way back then, I reckon if Hubble were a blue his theory would of been disallowed. 