Joke thread

[DrBlueBob]

Iv been told that my grammar is very poor, but I don’t believe them.

Only last week she gave me £20

It took me a few tries, but I finally got there.

 

[blue44]

 

[hammocity]

Two aerials on the same roof fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't up to much but the reception was excellent.

The original joke was “two Sky engineers fell in love and got married”.

 

[hammocity]

Using the aerial was Rod Hull if memory serves me correctly.

He was trying to tune his aerial to watch his Rag football match, how sad.

 

[hammocity]

A bloke came up to me and said “Are those thick lens glasses you’re wearing?..I said “ no they’re mine.

A pupil approached his Geography Teacher and said “Sir can you tell me where Pakistan is?” The Teacher replied “he’s in the playground with Indian Pete”.

 

[A57 the snake]

Two flies one a piece of dog poo one fly said to the other ‘ I’ve seen not you for a while ?
The other fly replied I know I’ve been on the sick !!

 

[kippaxneil]

This last couple of days, I've been getting strange telephone calls from a guy who keeps shouting 'Stand and Deliver!'.
I always tell him he's got the wrong number but he's adamant.

 

[citizen_maine]

Two flies one a piece of dog poo one fly said to the other ‘ I’ve seen not you for a while ?
The other fly replied I know I’ve been on the sick !!

Is the first fly Yoda?

 

[blue wang]

This last couple of days, I've been getting strange telephone calls from a guy who keeps shouting 'Stand and Deliver!'.
I always tell him he's got the wrong number but he's adamant.

Huh?

 

[Citizen of Legoland]

Huh?

What is it good for?

Oh, wrong song.