Joke thread

[blue44]

I hope.this ones ok.made me laugh anyhow.

 

[blue44]

Only kidding ladies, my wife forgot my dinner last and I was OK with it. ;-)

 

[blue44]

 

[lefty goldblatt]

There was a guy round our way addicted to stealing wheels, he couldn’t break the cycle, just kept going round and round in circles. I spoke to him about getting off the saddle, but he insisted it was free-wheeling.

Hub(ris)
Somebody spoke to him, but he was tyred.
Tread carefully with these puns, or they might run flat.

 

[Mr Fraser]

View attachment 109255

Waiter in Chinese rest "hows the chicken sir" me "its rubbery". waiter "I'lltell chef he will preased"

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Grassland Blue]

A man walks into a Chinese chippy with some rubbish in his hand.
"Excuse me" he said, "but where's yer bin?"
"Oh, I bin Hong Kong" says the Chinese guy.
"Sorry", "you misunderstand" says the man.
"Where's yer wheely bin?"
"Oh, I wheely bin Hong Kong".....

 

[Fred_Quimby]

 

[RadcliffeRick]

Met a Chinese girl in Manchester a few years ago. On the third date I wined her, dined her, gave her all my best lines, she eventually agreed to come back to my place. There we opened a nice wine and got to know each others body. After a time she whispered to me "What do you want" I replied "I would love a 69" she replied "IF YOU THINK I AM GETTING THE WOK OUT NOW YOU HAVE ANOTHER THINK COMING!!"

 

[LangleyBlue1970]

You can’t make this one up.

GMB. Poor bastard on who was randomly glassed and blinded. Ranvir says ‘the guy who did this was high on cocaine and blind drunk’

Nice one Ranvir. Here’s your P45.