Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

 

[sir baconface]

Ha ha why did we call them jonnies back in the day.

We also referred to them as noddies or noddy bags. No idea why.

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[sir baconface]

The mind boggles. Who would use damaged jonnies?

I absolutely refuse to do bungee jumps. I came into this world on a bust rubber and I’m fucked if I’m leaving on one.

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Lavinda Past]

Glasgow boys Archie and Jock were sitting in the pub discussing Jock’s forthcoming wedding.

‘Aye, it’s all going like magic,’ said Jock. ‘I've got everything organized already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night.’

Archie nodded approvingly.

‘Hell, I've even bought a kilt to be married in!’ continued Jock.

‘A kilt?’ exclaimed Archie. ‘That’s grand, you'll look pure smart in that! And what’s the tartan?”

‘Ach,’ said Jock, ‘I imagine she’ll be in white'

 

[Lavinda Past]

What's the difference between a Thief and a Peeping Tom?

One snatches your watch...

 

[Lavinda Past]

How does a non binary samurai kill people?

They/them.

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]