Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

I just found out that the bloke who invented Horlicks is a malty millionaire.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Just came up to a sign that said, 'Pavement closed. Please use other side.'

To be honest, it made me cross.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Great BBQ last night at the local library... we all had Shhhhhsh Kebabs...

 

[Lavinda Past]

I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday.

They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I asked the missus what she wanted me to do with some leftover bubble wrap.

She said "pop it in the other room"

 

[Lavinda Past]

My mate's wife spent her entire savings on an unsuccessful vaginal reconstruction surgery.

Now she hasn't got a bean

 

[Lavinda Past]

What's the average height for a chef?


I don't know but Heston's Blumenthal.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[Hertzblue]

 

[noblelord]