Joke thread

[Casey69]

An Arab in Abu Dhabi made his fortune selling dairy products …
He’s a Milk Sheikh!

 

[KS55]

The football supporting Sheik was eating a barm/ muffin (delete as appropriate); a case of Sheik Rattle and Roll.

 

[kippaxneil]

It has just been reported that a man has been caught masturbating in his local newsagents.
Apparently it's all over this morning's newspapers.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[Lavinda Past]

I've got a Labour Party advent calendar.

It's like a normal advent calendar except there is a dick in number 10.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Elton John reveals he has a severe eye infection.

Let me guess... is it the brown one?

 

[Skr1975]

It’s that cold outside I’ve just seen a Romanian with his hands in his own pockets

 

[sir baconface]

I've got a Labour Party advent calendar.

It's like a normal advent calendar except there is a dick in number 10.

Clearly you’ve got a few more windows to open.

 

[sir baconface]

 

[Lavinda Past]

I just got home from a friends funeral, he drowned last week.

I was surprised that all the relatives were furious about my floral arrangement that was in the shape of a life jacket.

But as I told everyone, "It's what he would have wanted".