Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”

When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.

“Wow, that’s amazing!” the doctor says.

“Did you follow my instructions?”

The blonde nods…

“I’ll tell you, I'd thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

“From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.

“No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I surprised my wife by getting romantic last night,

Best Scrabble score I’ve ever had.

 

[bladdered]

What the heck is that purple ball thing (top left)

Dunno but I'm not going ten pin bowling again.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Today i noticed that my mate was upset about something. I asked: "What's wrong?"

He said: " I've got an appointment at the sperm bank, but i don't know how to get out of it."

I replied: "Just tell them you can't come."

 

[Lavinda Past]

I'm doing some research on why some people refuse to embrace modern technology, and would appreciate any thoughts you may have on the subject.


Responses on a postcard only please.

 

[bladdered]

 

[Lavinda Past]

Interesting trivia...

M.C. Escher died when he tripped and fell up the stairs.

 

[Grassland Blue]

What the heck is that purple ball thing (top left)

The afterbirth.....

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

He's making his list...He's checkin' it twice.

He left it at home.

He's texting his wife.

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]