Joke thread

[RadcliffeRick]

A Seikh friend of mine is really into Karaoke, you might of heard of him, his name is Gorupta Singh

 

[Bill Walker]

I bought a chicken to make sandwiches.
It doesn't.

It just walks around and shits on the floor..

 

[BELLENDER]

When he was a baby, a friend's parents would bathe him in cheap Australian lager.

After he turned 18 he realised, that he'd been Fostered.

 

[J.G.Blue.]

Oh Deere John thats a shame.

In CASE your wondering, I think thats just CLAAS :-)

 

[RadcliffeRick]

In CASE your wondering, I think thats just CLAAS :-)

Sonalika it sona dont

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[J.G.Blue.]

Sonalika it sona dont

I bumped into prince andrews ex wife the other day, I could see she had stopped using hair dye so I said......................................"You look a little grey fergie"

 

[ChicagoBlue]

View attachment 41639

As Jesus would say, “What a way to spend Easter!”

 

[ChicagoBlue]

The version I grew up with…
….she picks him up, throws him into the sea and shouts,

“Well, you’re fucked now!”

 

[ChicagoBlue]

If pronouncing my If pronouncing my Bs as Vs makes me sound Russian, then soviet.

Do you have a stutter?

 

[JASR]

View attachment 41971

@Mad Eyed Screamer ’s love life

 

[balotellishaircut]

I’ve just been sacked from my job with the Samaritans. A United fan rang me and said “ Im laying on the rail track just waiting for the train to come” All I said was “Just stay on the line”

 

[BELLENDER]

I just saw a car being driven by a sheep in a swimsuit.

It was a Lamb Bikini.

 

[Fiftyyearsandcounting]

As Jesus would say, “What a way to spend Easter!”

And just a few days later, someone invented "No More Nails".

 

[northendenton]

Sonalika it sona dont

We may have gone too Fahr with this already.

 

[RadcliffeRick]

We may have gone too Fahr with this already.

You're correct tine to bale on the puns

 

[BackofJeanette]

I used to go out with a girl who punched me in the face when she had an orgasm
I didn't mind too much, until I found out she was faking them.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

I phoned the wife and said, "I've got something to tell you, but it's hard to say"

She said nervously "go on.."

I said "Ken Dodd’s dad’s dog’s dead".

 

[BackofJeanette]

 

[BackofJeanette]