Joke thread

I always knew it (45 years ago) as:

How do you get four elephants in a little red mini?
Two in the front and two in the back.

How do you know an elephants been in the fridge?
A footprint in the butter.

How do you know 2 elephants have been in the fridge?
2 footprints in the butter.

How do you know 3 elephants have been in the fridge?
3 footprints in the butter.

How do you know 4 elephants have been in the fridge?
No, there's a little red mini parked outside.
Reminds me of one from my childhood

How do you know whether elephants have been shagging in the garden?

the grass is flat and the bin liners are missing
 
The Pope was having a shower. Although he's very strict about celibacy, he occasionally felt he needed to exercise the papal wrist, and this happened to be one of those occasions. Just as he reached the Papal climax, he saw a photographer taking a picture of the Holy semen flying through the air. "Hold on a minute!" said the Pope, You can't do that - you'll destroy the reputation of the Church!". "This is my lottery win", said the photographer, "I'll be financially secure for life with these photos!" So, the Pope offered to buy the camera from the photographer, and after much negotiation, they eventually settled on a figure of $2,000,000. The Pope clothed himself and headed off to destroy the images on the camera. Along the vast Vatican hallways, he bumped into his personal housekeeper. Being a bit of a photography buff, she noticed the camera and said, "That looks like a really expensive digital SLR camera, how much did it cost you?" Not being one to lie, the Pope replied, "Two million Dollars.." "TWO MILLION Dollars!" replied the housekeeper, they must have seen you coming!!!!!
 

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