Joke thread

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

Yesterday, I got so depressed.

I spent entire day listening to Celine Dion records or so I thought until I realised my cat had fallen in to the dryer.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

 

[bluemoon32]

I bought a lettuce from a greengrocers owned by The Mamas & the Papas but it’s already gone off.
All the leaves are brown…

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[Fiftyyearsandcounting]

An inventor started a business making exploding prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

 

[CALCIO POTATO]

I was stopped in Tesco and a woman said - where is your Mask and i said its at home with Liar Liar and Ace Ventura Pet Detective

 

[mosssideblue]

I was stopped in Tesco and a woman said - where is your Mask and i said its at home Liar Liar and Ace Ventura Pet Detective

Err, ok

 

[blue b4 the moon]

Err, ok

Not just me then.

 

[mancity2012_eamo]

Err, ok

3 Jim Carrey films.
I think he may have left a word or two out of his last sentence.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

3 Jim Carrey films.
I think he may have left a word or two out of his last sentence.

For jokes to work you tend to need all the words to be left in

 

[Sheriff Fatman]

For jokes to work you tend to need all the words to be left in

I think it might be Alan Davies

 

[fanatic1]

A Southern Baptist minister booked into a motel in Alabama As he unpacked his suitcase he turned on the TV. He was appalled when hot steamy porn came on. Marching down to reception he confronted the desk clerk.
"I'm a man of the cloth. Look here I'd like the porn channel in my room disabled"

The redneck drooling clerk looked up from his girlie mag and responded, showing all 3 teeth "You'll get regular porn like anyone else you sicko"

 

[Tuearts right boot]

An inventor started a business making exploding prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

I had a mate who was a boat builder but since Covid he's had to work from home. Sails are going through the roof.

 

[DrBlueBob]

For jokes to work you tend to need all the words to be left in

For jokes to work for the hard of understanding you tend to need all the words to be left in.

It perhaps wasn't the greatest joke but it was fairly obvious what it was about.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Not really a joke but bloody hilarious, It's our friend again......

 

[Stuuuuuu]

I was stopped in Tesco and a woman said - where is your Mask and i said its at home with Liar Liar and Ace Ventura Pet Detective

You're not meant to try to make up your own jokes mate.