Joke thread

There was a guy round our way addicted to stealing wheels, he couldn’t break the cycle, just kept going round and round in circles. I spoke to him about getting off the saddle, but he insisted it was free-wheeling.
 
JASR said:
There was a guy round our way addicted to stealing wheels, he couldn’t break the cycle, just kept going round and round in circles. I spoke to him about getting off the saddle, but he insisted it was free-wheeling.
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But he is handy if you need something from the chippy.
 
A man walks into a Chinese chippy with some rubbish in his hand.
"Excuse me" he said, "but where's yer bin?"
"Oh, I bin Hong Kong" says the Chinese guy.
"Sorry", "you misunderstand" says the man.
"Where's yer wheely bin?"
"Oh, I wheely bin Hong Kong".....
 
Met a Chinese girl in Manchester a few years ago. On the third date I wined her, dined her, gave her all my best lines, she eventually agreed to come back to my place. There we opened a nice wine and got to know each others body. After a time she whispered to me "What do you want" I replied "I would love a 69" she replied "IF YOU THINK I AM GETTING THE WOK OUT NOW YOU HAVE ANOTHER THINK COMING!!"
 
You can’t make this one up.

GMB. Poor bastard on who was randomly glassed and blinded. Ranvir says ‘the guy who did this was high on cocaine and blind drunk’

Nice one Ranvir. Here’s your P45.
 
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