Joke thread

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[RayCTID]

Heard the one about the Short Sighted teacher. They couldn't control their pupils

 

[hammocity]

Whenever I complete a form asking for a number to contact in an emergency, I always put an ambulance because I know for a fact the wife will ignore a call from an unknown number.

Did you know there’s a lot more people die in hospital after suffering a heart attack than in Fast Food Restaurants. So, if you get a pain in your chest get to Subway rather than your local A&E.

Also, the chance of flying on a plane with someone carrying a bomb is around 20 million to one, the chances of two bombs on the plane is 400 million to one, the advice is always carry a bomb.

 

[hammocity]

View attachment 111342

Was once asked what was the premise behind the Operatic song “O Sole Mio”

I replied “I’ve only got one fish”.

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[kippaxneil]

As a kid life was tough. My neighbours would throw things like sponge mix, strawberries and whipped cream at me just for kicks.
It was hard growing up in the gateaux.

 

[KS55]

As a kid life was tough. My neighbours would throw things like sponge mix, strawberries and whipped cream at me just for kicks.
It was hard growing up in the gateaux.

That’s bolleaux.