Joke thread

An elderly Scotsman was wheezing his last breaths and he gathered his three sons together and by tradition they could ask for a parting gift in remembrance. The eldest son came out and said "I've got a tartan kilt." The second son came out and said "I've got two tartan ties." The youngest son, a ne'er do well came out grinning widely" The others said "What did you ask for?" He replied "Money!" The two are shocked and asked how he could do such a thing on such a sad occasion.. He replied "Well I got a tartan trouble."
 
Lavinda Past said:
They were just obeying orders....

While it may be a generalisation, Germans have a reputation for sticking to rules/laws very strictly.
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They are certainly more regimented than us. I've worked with a few, they are a laugh but do stick to the rules and their precision that they work to is awe inspiring.
I asked one to dig a whole approx 50 cms deep for some supports....500 mm exactly, brilliant.
Another was fitting a door and using very precise shaving with a gorgeous set of chisels but taking ages.....I told him he was ' pissing about ' and hit it with a lump hammer....job done and he was amazed.
 
Tuearts right boot said:
They are certainly more regimented than us. I've worked with a few, they are a laugh but do stick to the rules and their precision that they work to is awe inspiring.
I asked one to dig a whole approx 50 cms deep for some supports....500 mm exactly, brilliant.
Another was fitting a door and using very precise shaving with a gorgeous set of chisels but taking ages.....I told him he was ' pissing about ' and hit it with a lump hammer....job done and he was amazed.
Click to expand...

It's why the lump hammer is known as 'the persuader'...
 
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