Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
When Bob learned he was going to inherit a fortune after his father passed away, he thought, "What good is all that money if I don't have someone to share it with?"
So one night, he walked into a singles bar, on the lookout for his future partner. That’s when he spotted her—the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her beauty took his breath away.
Trying to keep it cool, Bob strolled over and said, “I may seem like an average guy, but in a week or two, my dad's going to pass, and I’m set to inherit £20 million.”
Clearly intrigued by his *future wealth*, she happily went home with him that night.
Just three days later, she became his stepmother.
So one night, he walked into a singles bar, on the lookout for his future partner. That’s when he spotted her—the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her beauty took his breath away.
Trying to keep it cool, Bob strolled over and said, “I may seem like an average guy, but in a week or two, my dad's going to pass, and I’m set to inherit £20 million.”
Clearly intrigued by his *future wealth*, she happily went home with him that night.
Just three days later, she became his stepmother.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A 63-year-old woman went to A&E, where a young, inexperienced doctor took care of her. After only about three minutes, the doctor told her that she was pregnant.
Shocked, she ran out of the room, screaming down the hallway. An older doctor saw her and asked what was wrong. After listening to her story, he comforted her and led her to another room to relax.
The older doctor then went to talk to the young doctor in his office. "What were you thinking?" he asked firmly. "This woman is 63, has two grown children, and several grandchildren. How could you tell her she’s pregnant?"
The young doctor, still focused on his clipboard, replied without looking up, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
Shocked, she ran out of the room, screaming down the hallway. An older doctor saw her and asked what was wrong. After listening to her story, he comforted her and led her to another room to relax.
The older doctor then went to talk to the young doctor in his office. "What were you thinking?" he asked firmly. "This woman is 63, has two grown children, and several grandchildren. How could you tell her she’s pregnant?"
The young doctor, still focused on his clipboard, replied without looking up, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
mancity2012_eamo
Well-Known Member
An Oirish joke.
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
After his examination, the doctor said to an old man 'You appear to be in good health. Do you have any question?
'In fact, I do.' said the old man.. "After I have sex with the wife, I am usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty."
The doctor could not find any explanation for this.
After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said: Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time; and hot & sweaty after the second time. Do you know why?'
*"Oh, the silly old bugger''* she replied.
*That's because the first time is usually in December, and the second is in June*
'In fact, I do.' said the old man.. "After I have sex with the wife, I am usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty."
The doctor could not find any explanation for this.
After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said: Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time; and hot & sweaty after the second time. Do you know why?'
*"Oh, the silly old bugger''* she replied.
*That's because the first time is usually in December, and the second is in June*
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
My mate said that the best place to meet new women is outside the gender reassignment clinic
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
My friends keep asking me how my life has changed since my vasectomy.
To be honest, I don’t notice a vas deferens.
To be honest, I don’t notice a vas deferens.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
My wife said she thought she had seen my name on a loaf of bread.... then she realised it said thick cut.