bladdered
Well-Known Member
Tony Blair pictured with a young Pete Doherty, circa 1980.
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
A man walks into his doctor's and says, "Ddddoc, I've bbbeen sssttttuttering ffor yyears and III'm tired of it. Ccccan yyyou hehehelp mmme???"
The doc says, "Well, I'll have to examine you first before I can answer you."
The doc examines him and says, "Well, I'm pretty sure that I know what the problem is."
The guy asks, "wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?"
The doc says,"It's your penis It's about about 18 inches long and all of the down pressure is putting a strain on your vocal chords."
The guy asks, "Wwwhat ccan wwe ddo about it?"
The doc replies, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one. I can guarantee that the operation will cure your stuttering."
The guy says, "Dddo it!"
The guy has the operation and about four weeks later he comes back to the doctor's office and says, "Thanks Doc you've solved my problem and I don't stutter any more but I've only had sex once in the past month. My wife doesn't enjoy it any more. I cannot satisfy her. She liked my long penis. I don't care if I have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back one!"
The doc replies, "Nnnnope. A ddddeal's a ddddeal!"....
The doc says, "Well, I'll have to examine you first before I can answer you."
The doc examines him and says, "Well, I'm pretty sure that I know what the problem is."
The guy asks, "wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?"
The doc says,"It's your penis It's about about 18 inches long and all of the down pressure is putting a strain on your vocal chords."
The guy asks, "Wwwhat ccan wwe ddo about it?"
The doc replies, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one. I can guarantee that the operation will cure your stuttering."
The guy says, "Dddo it!"
The guy has the operation and about four weeks later he comes back to the doctor's office and says, "Thanks Doc you've solved my problem and I don't stutter any more but I've only had sex once in the past month. My wife doesn't enjoy it any more. I cannot satisfy her. She liked my long penis. I don't care if I have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back one!"
The doc replies, "Nnnnope. A ddddeal's a ddddeal!"....
bluethrunthru
Well-Known Member
Bruce Springsteen is joining the world's best Abba tribute band on their current world tour.
He's alternating which band member he plays, though:
In England he'll be Benny, then he's going to be Bjorn in the USA.
He's alternating which band member he plays, though:
In England he'll be Benny, then he's going to be Bjorn in the USA.
Bigg Bigg Blue
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Bigg Bigg Blue
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Bigg Bigg Blue
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Bigg Bigg Blue
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Vienna_70
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- Joined
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Has anyone noticed?
The evenings are drawing out.
The evenings are drawing out.
sir baconface
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kippaxneil
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Breaking News: Local man discovers his girlfriend is really a ghost.
He told reporters: 'I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door'.
He told reporters: 'I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door'.
Three_Hat-tricks
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- 3 Oct 2009
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Bowyers Sausages
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There is a special place in Hell for people who put empty wrappers back in the After Eight mint box.
roman totale
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That was absolutely me c.1976-1983
Vienna_70
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Why does Debbie Harry get emotional at Christmas?
Because she’s always touched by your presents, dear.
Because she’s always touched by your presents, dear.
JRockBlues
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ColinBellsjockstrap
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Two Irish lads are strolling down a street in Liverpool, England, when they spot a shop window that reads:
Suits £10, Jackets £7.50, Trousers and Dresses £5.00.
One turns to the other and says,
"Would ya look at those feckin' prices? We could buy a boatload, haul it back to Ireland , and make a fortune — double, maybe even treble the money!"
The other lad says,
"That’s a grand idea, but d’ya think they’ll sell to us if they know we’re Irish?"
The first lad grins and says,
"Don’t worry, I’ve got this," and walks in, putting on his finest English accent:
"Good afternoon! I'd like twenty suits, thirty jackets, fifty pairs of trousers, and twenty-five dresses, please."
The shop assistant squints and says,
"You’re Irish, aren’t you?"
The lad replies,
"Ah feck, how’d ya guess?"
The assistant smiles and says,
"This is a dry cleaners."
Suits £10, Jackets £7.50, Trousers and Dresses £5.00.
One turns to the other and says,
"Would ya look at those feckin' prices? We could buy a boatload, haul it back to Ireland , and make a fortune — double, maybe even treble the money!"
The other lad says,
"That’s a grand idea, but d’ya think they’ll sell to us if they know we’re Irish?"
The first lad grins and says,
"Don’t worry, I’ve got this," and walks in, putting on his finest English accent:
"Good afternoon! I'd like twenty suits, thirty jackets, fifty pairs of trousers, and twenty-five dresses, please."
The shop assistant squints and says,
"You’re Irish, aren’t you?"
The lad replies,
"Ah feck, how’d ya guess?"
The assistant smiles and says,
"This is a dry cleaners."