Leavers cards and collections

[Hamann Pineapple]

I think you're excessively generous.
A quid. Maybe two if I liked them. Nowt if I disliked them.
For the vast majority, they are only work colleagues, not friends or family. I only know them in the first place because I'm paid to be there.

^^This.

Same here, might chip in if I particularly liked them but otherwise nah, fuck 'em, never gonna see them again.

 

[BlueSam]

just put a 10er in one a minute ago, usually put a 5er in but I worked pretty closely with this guy and hes retiring not leaving.

 

[Feed-The-Goat]

Im a **** when it comes to collections around the workplace, i tend to dodge them all, unless i got on with them and they get a quid.

I never work on my birthday, nor do i ever mention im leaving if i am, i just keep it on the QT with the boss and bow out quietly, so i have never ever had a collection for myself in my working life for anything.

Im a tight bastard, but i love it.

 

[BimboBob]

Put fuck all in and write in their card "fuck off loser".

Unless it's a bird with smashing norks obviously.

 

[Sigh]

Nothing.

The kissing-cousin of books of condolence, black arm-bands, and national grief-fests.

 

[Carver]

When the list stapled to an envelope comes round from the busybody don't write down how much you've put in. Just tick it/ initialise the box to show that it has been past you. Encourage others to do the same. If you contribute or how much you put in is none of anyone else's business though it's normal to ask what's the going rate. If you want to put in more or less than this it's up to you.

Tend to put more in if someone is having a baby or getting married but one guy getting married ended up with hardly anything once, I was a little bit annoyed for him.

 

[LongsightM13]

When the list stapled to an envelope comes round from the busybody don't write down how much you've put in. Just tick it/ initialise the box to show that it has been past you. Encourage others to do the same. If you contribute or how much you put in is none of anyone else's business though it's normal to ask what's the going rate. If you want to put in more or less than this it's up to you.

Tend to put more in if someone is having a baby or getting married but one guy getting married ended up with hardly anything once, I was a little bit annoyed for him.

These people especially get nothing from me. Nada. Diddly squat.
I'm already going to be subsidising the little **** for the next 20 years through my taxes, so asking for an extra bung is a piss-take.

 

[Cellarite]

We had a pushy cow at our works a while ago who would pounce on you demanding money whenever there was a birthday, baby due, wedding or someone leaving. She wasn't on my department so she rarely if evr got me but a year or two ago, two lesbians left to move to Spain (no, they were old and horrendous). This old nag marches over to me and asks if I'm putting in. I said I didn't see the need for a collection because they were moving to Spain. If anything, there should be a collection for the poor bastards who have to stay in England. She wasn't amused and demanded "How much are you putting in Kev?"

I replied "The exact amount collected for me after my three kids. Fuck all."

 

[Uncle Wally One Ball]

When the list stapled to an envelope comes round from the busybody don't write down how much you've put in. Just tick it/ initialise the box to show that it has been past you. Encourage others to do the same. If you contribute or how much you put in is none of anyone else's business though it's normal to ask what's the going rate. If you want to put in more or less than this it's up to you.

Tend to put more in if someone is having a baby or getting married but one guy getting married ended up with hardly anything once, I was a little bit annoyed for him.

I like that idea, very simple yet very effective. This naming and shaming peer pressure bollocks of names and amounts is not on. Initialise though? The grammar police may be offended by that americanism, beware.

 

[Laurent Charvet]

Fuck all. You're never gonna see them again.