Leavers cards and collections

[nijinsky's fetlocks]

Put fuck all in and write in their card "fuck off loser".

Unless it's a bird with smashing norks obviously.

You're very negative today Bob.
Has someone stolen your sunshine?
There is a lot to be said for putting a handful of washers in the collection,and spending the money on Rohypnol in a farewell drink.

 

[law74]

One office i used to work in had a collection every payday where those that were members contributed a set amount (I think it was about £3.00) and there was a set amount if a member was leaving, a different amount for getting married and another amount if the had a baby.
If they chose to opt out of the scheme then fcuk them, but anyone that was in the club got the same, last week i put £2.00 in to get one of my colleagues a bunch of flowers as she was in hospital, a couple of years ago, i got the jaw broke playing cricket and a couple of my colleagues called round with a bunch of nah, 4 bottles of magners and a bottle of Smirf, also about that time one of the girls I was working with got married and almost all of us put £50 each to her collection (small tight knit group, and we were all invited to the wedding, reception and evening do).
What you contribute to a leaving do or a retirement do will be influenced on the size of the group you are working with and how well you know (like) the recipient.

I can think of one person I work with now that I would donate £100 if they never came back into the workplace.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Fuck all. You're never gonna see them again.

This ^^^

They're probably going to get a better paid job, or get a pension / lump sum payment.

Just get a free drink off them a wave bye bye.

 

[salfordpaul]

i don t work in an office but i feel the folllowing advice would best be followed..

become the "sef styled busy ****".... you start off all the collections
you get to walk round the office cajoling and collecting
wander out to the smokers so they don t escape
nip in the male/female toilets look underneath to make sure no one is hiding
put your name first on the list with a big bold tick (and put fuck all in!)

 

[mr t]

Fucking hell there's some tight cunts posting on this forum.

I'm glad I don't work with any of you miserable bastards.

 

[Lucky Toma]

Never worked in an office and never could.

My ex was always chipping in for 'cakes days' and like - enforced fun is no fun. Used to depress the fuck out of me.

Only went in there once to pick her up after work. This old harridan crowed out 'Ooo is this him?' like I was a shit boyfriend. Yeah I was a shit boyfriend but at least I didn't have a boil on my nose the size of Gibraltar and a 100-a-day squark that sounded like Ivy Tilsley gargling cum.