Limericks about Footballers

[Millwallawayveteran1988]

There was a young rag named fletcher
Whose shits were so bad they would wet ya.
Even Taggert did frown
When he shit on Wes Brown
And got carried off on a stretcher.

 

[Paladin]

Meanwhile, the fans at United
Were starting to get all excited
As Pep made it clear
He was in his last year
But their love for him went unrequited

Their patience with Louis depleted
'We need a new boss' they repeated
But he snubbed them for City
Their hopes turned to pity
Their dreams and resolve are defeated

 

[SkyBlueTX]

Our dear old Nic Otamendi
Shaved his head in a way he thought trendy
Added to his latest tatt
It made him look a twat
And the way he tackles is all bendy

And when he dives it offends me

 

[balotelli's back pocket]

There once was a boy called kevin,
who wanted to kick maureen's head in,
He would not park the bus,
Now he's one of us,
He's better than hazard the cretin.

 

[SkyBlueTX]

There's nothing left to be said,
Of a certain striker in red.
Shit team, shit skills, £300k, grannies;
Shoe stealing, head pubes, leathery fannies.
So now I'm off to bed.

 

[roj]

There once was a guy called Ryan,
Who looked liked the sort you'd rely on,
He F*CKED HIS BROS WIFE
Didn't fall on his knife,
And may get some Malc Glazer millions (period)

 

[Skanger my banger]

Fuck off Wayne Rooney you ain't George clooney you silly fat **** you killed James blunt ,brap brap

 

[york away to this!]

Do you recall us signing Sam Nasri?
He appeared, full of tricks - quite fancy.
Then quick as you like,
Turns out she's a dyke!
Some on this forum turned nasty...

 

[Big Swifty]

An England striker named Wayne
Went for a massage in Spain
But the "girl" was a granny
With a smelly old fanny
So he shagged her again and again

 

[york away to this!]

Pogba will be joining us one day
...if Pep and that Tolm get their way,
the rumours are strong
he'll be blue before long
- we'll win the chump's league at the end of next season.... I mean May...