In that case then Messi turns up in Laportas office wearing a liquorice thong, holding a big bunch of roses and demands he plays for free for a year.
Problem solved.
And Mr Eto'o doesn't strike me as the sharpest tool in the shed.
Well he did argue in the same interview that Barcelona should sign Sergio Ramos. If ever there was a player that wouldn't feel the cule love at camp nou, it would be him.