Liverpool planning 2026 Commonwealth games bid

[blue b4 the moon]

Diving to be renamed dipping.

 

[sir baconface]

Men's freestyle whingeing.

 

[Blueto]

Prison Drone Drug Drop
Successfully deliver drugs to an inmate without the authoritiies intercepting it.

 

[CTID1988]

The 100k Perm & Moustache grow. Start off shaved, by the end whoever has the best tash and perm wins

 

[Dicko69]

The wreath laying marathon.
Running round the city laying wreaths at every car accident, trip, slip, fall, bump, etc.
The ultimate endurance event, guaranteed gold for us, prob silver and bronze too, all won by scousers

 

[Ancient Citizen]

Mobility scooter racing.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Scouse Pentathlon -

Archery
Shooting
Stabbing with Stanley knife
Hammer (attack)
Running (away from the crime scene)

 

[its a Barm]

Men's freestyle whingeing.

My favorite, along with syncronised its not our fault.

 

[Manchester33]

This made me chuckle....

Recommendations: 14
In an attempt to influence the members of the International Olympic Committee on their choice of venue for the games in 2008, the organisers of Liverpool's bid have already drawn up an itinerary and schedule of events.

A copy has been leaked and is reproduced below.

OPENING CEROMONY
The Olympic flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the city, wearing the traditional costume of shell suit, baseball cap and balaclava mask. It will burn for the duration of the games in a large chip van situated on the roof of the stadium.

THE EVENTS
In previous Olympic games, Liverpool's competitors have not been particularly successful. In order to redress the balance, some of the events have been altered slightly to the advantage of local athletes.

100 METRES
Sprint competitors will have to hold a video recorder and a microwave oven (one under each arm) and on the sound of the starting pistol, a police dog will be released from a cage 10 yards behind the athletes.

100 METRES HURDLES
As above but with added obstacles e.g. car bonnets, hedges, garden fences, walls etc.

HAMMER
Competitors in this event may choose the type of hammer they wish to use (claw, sledge etc.). The winner will be the one who can cause the most grievous bodily harm to members of the public within the time allowed.

FENCING.
Entrants will be asked to dispose of as much stolen silver and jewellery as possible in 5 minutes.

SHOOTING
A strong challenge is expected from the local men in this event. The first target will be a moving police van. In the second round, the competitors will aim at a post clerks, a bank teller or a wages delivery guard.

BOXING
Entry to this event will be restricted to husband and wife teams and will take place on a Friday night The husband will be given 15 pints of Tennents while the wife will be told not to make him any tea when he gets home. The bout will then commence.

CYCLING TIME TRIALS
Competitors will be asked to break into the University bike shed and take an expensive mountain bike owned by some mummy's boy from the country on his first trip away from home. All against the clock.

CYCLING PURSUIT
As above but the bike will be owned by a visiting member of the Australian rugby team who will witness the theft.

MODERN PENTATHLON
Amended to include mugging, breaking and entering, flashing, joy riding and arson.

SWIMMING
Competitors will be thrown off the Pier Head into the Mersey and the first three survivors back will decide the medals.

MENS 50KM WALK
Unfortunatley this will have to be cancelled as the police cannot guarantee the safety of anyone walking the steets of Liverpool.

THE CLOSING CEREMONY
Entertainment will include formation rave dancing by the members of the Liverpool Health in the Community anti-drug campaigners, synchronised brick throwing and music from the Toxteth reggae band. The Olympic
flame will be extinguished by someone dropping an old washing machine onto it from the top floor of the block of flats next to the stadium. The stadium will
then be boarded up before the local athletes break into it and remove all of the copper piping and the central heating boiler.

 

[BrianW]

Silent Walk
(You have to walk from Lime Street to Anfield without saying a word. At various points, locals will pop up and ask you the time. Answering results in instant disqualification.)