loneliness

[Pell]

Facebook posts dont mean anything mate, and certainly should not be used as a compass by which to measure your life to anyone elses, and then become miserable because of it. Nobody ever really posts anything negative, its like a social competition to show others what a great person you are/great social life you have/how much fun they are etc. Its bollocks. Ignore Facebook, I hate it actually.
Dont obsess about not having a bird. For one, its not that important. For another, you wil never meet a bird if youre feeling sorry for yourself, its like they sense it. Women like confidence, even too much so sometimes. Look at how many nice women you know who have absolute knobbers as boyfriends. Just be yoursellf and relax, and anyone will tell you how often they end up meeting women when they are not looking too. Thats because youre being yourself and relaxed.
If you go looking too hard, you will end up being with the wrong bird, and in a few months you will be just as fed up as you are now.
I think from your posts that you have recognised what is up yourself, you and your mates are just a funny transitional age or set of circumstances at the moment.
What you need to do is fill your time with things you like doing, or want to do but never have. Get fit, go training or cycling or whatever. Its free and getting fit and exercising makes you feel better anyway, its all chemical man. Decorate the house, see some films, read some books.
I live on my own and am single, but I love it that way. Im never bored or lonely, and a big part of that is that because I am an absolute bastard when it comes to women. I dont want one and dont miss not having one. I do OK for women, some of them other peoples women, but dont be like me. However, I am too busy to be bored or lonely, in fact there are not enough hours in the week to get everything done. I am off today after working a week of 17 hour days and today will be largely spent on housework, ironing, bit of shopping and gym this evening. Point it, busy yourself and you wont have time to dwell on anything.
Everyone is different, dont believe that there is a normal way to live and that you are different because you arent like your mates or anything like that. Just chill out, get yourself busy, and things will all work out in the end. They usually do.

That's excellent advice. If Facebook is having a corrosive impact on you and your self esteem, then it might be a good idea to get rid of it. Don't use it as some kind of yardstick to judge how you should live your life. Don't think "all my mates on Facebook are getting married or have beautiful girlfriends and are having a whale of time, I haven't, so I've failed, or they're a success at life". There are no rules on how you should live, or what your life should be like when you reach a certain age. Live the life that you want to live, not one that your pressured into by society. I'm single, and I've not ruling out staying that way for the rest of my life. My mentality is, 'if I meet someone, great, if I don't, I'll see the advantages of not being tied down, and use them to the maximum'. I don't get depressed over being single, I have lots of interests, and things I like doing, so I'm never bored or lonely. Having a happy, fulfilling life is the key, and you don't need a girlfriend or a wife to have that. There's also the risk that you're building up being in a relationship too much, thinking it will be the solution to your problems, then discovering its not the wonderful thing you imagined it would be from looking at your mates facebook posts, or going for the first girl that comes along without really thinking it through, and ending up in an unhappy relationship.

 

[another generation]

Whatever you do, don't end up tying the knot with the next one who comes along, at least not within a couple of years. Give it time, or you'll end up like so many before you who got scared that they'd never find another, so got hitched, only to meet the real love of their lives within the next few years.

Loneliness? Ask me about it... It nearly kills me every single day of this sorry existence.

 

[kaz7]

Whatever you do, don't end up tying the knot with the next one who comes along, at least not within a couple of years. Give it time, or you'll end up like so many before you who got scared that they'd never find another, so got hitched, only to meet the real love of their lives within the next few years.

Loneliness? Ask me about it... It nearly kills me every single day of this sorry existence.

I'm always up for a chat if you need one :)

 

[BlueBearBoots]

Whatever you do, don't end up tying the knot with the next one who comes along, at least not within a couple of years. Give it time, or you'll end up like so many before you who got scared that they'd never find another, so got hitched, only to meet the real love of their lives within the next few years.

Loneliness? Ask me about it... It nearly kills me every single day of this sorry existence.

I'm always up for a chat if you need one :)

I get bored at weekends sometimes AG I'm always up for a few beers in town shame Kaz lives too far away

 

[kaz7]

Whatever you do, don't end up tying the knot with the next one who comes along, at least not within a couple of years. Give it time, or you'll end up like so many before you who got scared that they'd never find another, so got hitched, only to meet the real love of their lives within the next few years.

Loneliness? Ask me about it... It nearly kills me every single day of this sorry existence.

I'm always up for a chat if you need one :)

I get bored at weekends sometimes AG I'm always up for a few beers in town shame Kaz lives too far away

It is,i would love to get together

 

[TangerineSteve17]

I've said a few times.. we are all alone anyway. We don't share consciousness, so nobody knows what is actually happening inside another person's head.

I think it should be drummed into kids really. Yes we are social creatures, but you are alone always. How much of what you say and feel is really you? You are just a bystander really, witnessing your brain doing things. Your psychology.

I'm not saying you can't connect with people, you can.. but it would help if they understood what you both were..

Point being, try not to lie to yourself when affecting someones else's life/emotions... because the mask will slip at some point, whether you mean for it to or not.

 

[Bill]

Aye, tough times. But you're right, it's just a stage. Relationships, and friendships in particular, change. Depending on the nature of your friends, I wouldn't be ashamed of telling one or more of them you're finding it hard. That's not attention seeking or being manipulative, it's just being honest. I often think that feeling like you can't reveal your feelings to people in your life is the worst sort of loneliness.

And just because they've settled down doesn't make it the right thing for you to do. Hundreds of millions of guys don't do it till far later in life. Some never do. Doesn't make them tragic or unhappy. Don't feel like you're missing out.

So I'd use this time to;
a: try and put yourself about a bit socially, see if you meet new people you connect with. Volunteer, join clubs, the gym, chat a bit more to the people at the places you go regularly, the people you meet. You come accross as quite honest and in touch. People are (nearly) always happy to meet people like that.
b: very gently figure out what you want in terms of friendships and relationships, and, maybe, why
c: work on yourself. always work on yourself. read, get fit, learn how to cook, dress and groom better, garden, diy, set-up a network and troubleshoot a computer, fix cars, windsurf, speak another language, do double entry bookeeping, play magic the gathering (actually... not that). Whatever. Just keep working on yourself at all times.

Thanks for that post :) My close friends are actually great. I had a D&M with one of them only a couple of weeks ago..and we both got pretty emotional which was a strange thing to be part of. The thing that gets me down sometimes is not having a girlfriend but as people have mentioned already, the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

I'm going to have a think on certain things I can do to meet more people. I think I need to watch 'Yes Man' again. I always feel uplifted and more motivated to do new things after that movie...even if it is a bit corny.

put your picture up and we'll let you lnow if you are an ugly ****. if you are it will save you money as the bird you may be trying to woo will just fuck off anyway so you may aswell not bother. if you are a looker we'll let you know that too and you'll smash a bird this weekend with some new found confidence.

trust us, you know it makes sense.

ps. both my wife and daughter are available if you get stuck. both pigs mind.

 

[foetus]

I've posted some pics of me in the 'face to name' thread or whatever it's called.

 

[TangerineSteve17]

I've posted some pics of me in the 'face to name' thread or whatever it's called.

Yeah, I have seen you. You are entirely normal.. so you can't blame that shit. There is obviously something wrong with your mind instead :)

 

[remember arthur mann]

It's a coat you wear.

Is the cloak you wear.