Cheers, didn't think of that. (I'm not a good lateral thinker). I was actually thinking of going up from Kings Cross to Sheffield, then across the Pennines. And back again after the match.
What you suggest actually sounds more reliable, since there's also a big problem with Transpennine at present (not that they're the only company going across the Pennines).
My worst case fallback involved taking the National Express coach up — and train back — but it's five fucking hours! Hate coaches too. You can't really read or listen to music properly, I find. You also find yourself next to some properly obese character on occasions; a whale who's basically taking up both seats.
Weird that I didn't think of the Liverpool solution. Probably because I had a strong subconscious aversion to being in that city. (Not quite true, actually: got nothing against Liverpool, just the redshite that infest it).