Manchester Evening News

[gordondaviesmoustache]

Haha! I get to deal with these pricks every weekend. The full repertoire in fact, the wedding itself, then the stories of how 'mental' the stag do was and the football shite normally kicks in later on. I just smile as I take their money, wishing that midnight would hurry up so I can fuck the boring cunts off.
Love the banter do wedding guests..

I've been to a few weddings like that. Hard work after a bit. I always end up offending one of the alpha-males in the pack, which passes the time.

They thrive at Weddings. In fact their spiritual heaven is the Best Man's Speech. It encapsulates and embraces everything they are about: roaring laughing at the risqué banter, slapping each other's backs, thinking they are Impressing the girls whilst secretly making sure they stay just about 'onside' of the banterborder with their dads.

I think I'm labouring this a bit, aren't I?

Not really. You've got plenty of material to work with tbh.

 

[Damocles]

These are my least favourite type of people. Boorish and boring in equal measure.

Haha! I get to deal with these pricks every weekend. The full repertoire in fact, the wedding itself, then the stories of how 'mental' the stag do was and the football shite normally kicks in later on. I just smile as I take their money, wishing that midnight would hurry up so I can fuck the boring cunts off.
Love the banter do wedding guests..

They love getting loudly and irritatingly pissed in formal back tie gear, and letting the dickie bow hang unfastened at the end of the night to show how much carnage has ensued, as they ironically smoke a cigar. Most are called Jules or Josh.

I grew up with a bunch of these people and disowned them about 30 seconds later. I hate the bowtie/cigar smoking fuckwits like that.

As George Carlin put it, a bunch of over privileged under educated white guys sucking on a big brown dick. Freud would have a field day.

They run the country you know mate and even more depressing, the tossers who don't understand that this is supposed to be "ironic" are the next lot in charge.

 

[Phil1]

These are my least favourite type of people. Boorish and boring in equal measure.

Haha! I get to deal with these pricks every weekend. The full repertoire in fact, the wedding itself, then the stories of how 'mental' the stag do was and the football shite normally kicks in later on. I just smile as I take their money, wishing that midnight would hurry up so I can fuck the boring cunts off.
Love the banter do wedding guests..

I've been to a few weddings like that. Hard work after a bit. I always end up offending one of the alpha-males in the pack, which passes the time.

It's great - I'm there when they arrive in the morning, nice as fucking pie and all polite. Then as the day progresses and the drinks flowing the louder they get until like DD says they start with the sing songs and the passing around of cigars. I've taken great joy in asking them to leave when I've overheard them talking down to my staff - the difference in attitude as they splutter their apologies and beg not to be thrown out almost makes me change my mind - then I remember why they're getting launched in the first place and don't feel so bad. I normally know who they support by that point which obviously plays a part in who gets a reprise and who has to explain to the groom why he's gotta go :-)

 

[gordondaviesmoustache]

Haha! I get to deal with these pricks every weekend. The full repertoire in fact, the wedding itself, then the stories of how 'mental' the stag do was and the football shite normally kicks in later on. I just smile as I take their money, wishing that midnight would hurry up so I can fuck the boring cunts off.
Love the banter do wedding guests..

I've been to a few weddings like that. Hard work after a bit. I always end up offending one of the alpha-males in the pack, which passes the time.

It's great - I'm there when they arrive in the morning, nice as fucking pie and all polite. Then as the day progresses and the drinks flowing the louder they get until like DD says they start with the sing songs and the passing around of cigars. I've taken great joy in asking them to leave when I've overheard them talking down to my staff - the difference in attitude as they splutter their apologies and beg not to be thrown out almost makes me change my mind - then I remember why they're getting launched in the first place and don't feel so bad. I normally know who they support by that point which obviously plays a part in who gets a reprise and who has to explain to the groom why he's gotta go :-)

You can always tell the character of a man by how he talks to the serving/ waiting staff at a function.

 

[andyhinch]

These are my least favourite type of people. Boorish and boring in equal measure.

Haha! I get to deal with these pricks every weekend. The full repertoire in fact, the wedding itself, then the stories of how 'mental' the stag do was and the football shite normally kicks in later on. I just smile as I take their money, wishing that midnight would hurry up so I can fuck the boring cunts off.
Love the banter do wedding guests..

They love getting loudly and irritatingly pissed in formal back tie gear, and letting the dickie bow hang unfastened at the end of the night to show how much carnage has ensued, as they ironically smoke a cigar. Most are called Jules or Josh.

I'm on a stag do at the weekend, paint balling, drinking and strippers, it'll be full on carnage, don't see your problem with people having fun, but you didn't get the nickname dismal for nothing a suppose

 

[Damocles]

Will it be epic?

 

[mickeyblueeyes]

I've been to a few weddings like that. Hard work after a bit. I always end up offending one of the alpha-males in the pack, which passes the time.

It's great - I'm there when they arrive in the morning, nice as fucking pie and all polite. Then as the day progresses and the drinks flowing the louder they get until like DD says they start with the sing songs and the passing around of cigars. I've taken great joy in asking them to leave when I've overheard them talking down to my staff - the difference in attitude as they splutter their apologies and beg not to be thrown out almost makes me change my mind - then I remember why they're getting launched in the first place and don't feel so bad. I normally know who they support by that point which obviously plays a part in who gets a reprise and who has to explain to the groom why he's gotta go :-)

You can always tell the character of a man by how he talks to the serving/ waiting staff at a function.

I never get that how people talk down to anybody who is serving you with anything ,FFs they are doing their job to the best of their ability just because they are serving these twats they think they have the right to talk to them like crap ,I for one would pull a green one up and mix it in the gravy total tossers

 

[Phil1]

I've been to a few weddings like that. Hard work after a bit. I always end up offending one of the alpha-males in the pack, which passes the time.

It's great - I'm there when they arrive in the morning, nice as fucking pie and all polite. Then as the day progresses and the drinks flowing the louder they get until like DD says they start with the sing songs and the passing around of cigars. I've taken great joy in asking them to leave when I've overheard them talking down to my staff - the difference in attitude as they splutter their apologies and beg not to be thrown out almost makes me change my mind - then I remember why they're getting launched in the first place and don't feel so bad. I normally know who they support by that point which obviously plays a part in who gets a reprise and who has to explain to the groom why he's gotta go :-)

You can always tell the character of a man by how he talks to the serving/ waiting staff at a function.

My biggest gripe mate - on an evening I'm normally in the back but can hear most things going on at the bar. People will always think they can talk down to bar staff, in fairness it's not everyone, normally those who get spoke down to by their own bosses all week so think it's ok to do the same at the first opportunity. Like I say, you soon see them for what they are when begging not to be thrown out.

 

[andyhinch]

Will it be epic?

Will what be epic ? The end of the world, your first shag a knowing glance on a train station platform. You could narrow things down a bit.

 

[jrb]

Can I claim it ???