my arse!

[Anonymous]

Common problem, this. I'm a GP.

Fill a bucket with warm semi-skimmed milk before bed. Remove your trousers and sit in the bucket for a few minutes. You can hold your old fella if you want to keep it from getting a dunking. Be sure you have evacuated your bowels beforehand.

Then when you've done that shave your arse with a disposable razor. I'd definitely use shaving cream to be honest. Either way you will need to moisturise it after.

Put on a pair of very tight underwear. Ladies knickers are ideal. This will stop you scratching in bed.

Then go to sleep. Repeat the procedure (without the shaving) for a few nights and you'll be cured forever.

Let us know how you get on on here.

you and mammulty?

fuck it. i'll go ill this christmas.

 

[paphos-mcfc]

Common problem, this. I'm a GP.

Fill a bucket with warm semi-skimmed milk before bed. Remove your trousers and sit in the bucket for a few minutes. You can hold your old fella if you want to keep it from getting a dunking. Be sure you have evacuated your bowels beforehand.

Then when you've done that shave your arse with a disposable razor. I'd definitely use shaving cream to be honest. Either way you will need to moisturise it after.

Put on a pair of very tight underwear. Ladies knickers are ideal. This will stop you scratching in bed.

Then go to sleep. Repeat the procedure (without the shaving) for a few nights and you'll be cured forever.

Let us know how you get on on here.

you and mammulty?

fuck it. i'll go ill this christmas.

It's not General Practitionery, it's witchery.

 

[mammutly]

Common problem, this. I'm a GP.

Fill a bucket with warm semi-skimmed milk before bed. Remove your trousers and sit in the bucket for a few minutes. You can hold your old fella if you want to keep it from getting a dunking. Be sure you have evacuated your bowels beforehand.

Then when you've done that shave your arse with a disposable razor. I'd definitely use shaving cream to be honest. Either way you will need to moisturise it after.

Put on a pair of very tight underwear. Ladies knickers are ideal. This will stop you scratching in bed.

Then go to sleep. Repeat the procedure (without the shaving) for a few nights and you'll be cured forever.

Let us know how you get on on here.

you and mammulty?

fuck it. i'll go ill this christmas.

hahaha.

It's been years since I worked in primary care. I'm allergic to latex!

 

[mammutly]

Threadworm
piles
allergy
infection
eczema
Other

Major causes of rear end itching - assuming you mean anus and not buttocks.

A hot vindaloo what u reckon mm?

Well, there is that.... comes under other.

;-)


drink lassi

 

[mr t]

What about ringworm or athletes crack?

Athletes crack is a fungal infection similar to athletes foot and it itches like mad.

Get some Canestan anti fungal cream and apply it sparingly to the affected area twice a day. Should clear up within the week if thats the cause of it.

 

[blumoonrisen]

simple... its down to arse fleas..

get an empty bag of salt and vinegar crisps and turn it inside out ... rub the area thoroughly..

 

[SharpDressedMan]

simple... its down to arse fleas..

get an empty bag of salt and vinegar crisps and turn it inside out ... rub the area thoroughly..

Apply this directly to open cuts first

 

[blumoonrisen]

simple... its down to arse fleas..

get an empty bag of salt and vinegar crisps and turn it inside out ... rub the area thoroughly..

Apply this directly to open cuts first

Nooo....! wipe the arse area first... then spread the germs to open cuts... thus allowing the body to build up its natural defences..!

 

[bizzbo]

have you sterilised your toys recently?

seriously, I shower with t-gel shampoo because i have sensitive skin, eczema and spend time with animals, what's on their coats doesn't bear thinking about. I get all sorts of itches and whatever. t-gel is a sure fire way to cleanse everything out and sooth any irritation. and anti-histamines before bed will help.

 

[blumoonrisen]

Steady.... itchy arse...you spend time with animals..? thats worth a thread of its own...