Never thought I would find myself doing this but....

[Juan King]

Accept it & move on. There are several billion women in the world, so there must be plenty of others apart from this one who would be a good match for you.

 

[2sheikhs]

Rubbish ending then. :(

Don't let life pass you by Blue streak. Even if she thought she'd treated you bad and took you back because she felt guilty, that's no way to start a relationship.

 

[ElanJo]

Have you asked her if she's ok? something other than you might be bothering her.

I dunno why you're asking a bunch of bellends on a forum. Ask her if she's into the relationship...

 

[Blue Streak]

The lady in question has text me today (out of the Blue) regarding City's champions league group, and responded nicely when I've text back.

Nothing major but I still hold a little hope I can reconcile something? We've had a few giggles via text this evening.

 

[pride in battle]

Bottom line if you still want her in your life, go for it, tell her how you feel, you have nothing to lose....
Good luck...

 

[Blue Streak]

Bottom line if you still want her in your life, go for it, tell her how you feel, you have nothing to lose....
Good luck...

I want her very much in my life but she has told me she felt I was previously putting her under pressure? So I'm backing off. She knows how I feel.

 

[pride in battle]

Bottom line if you still want her in your life, go for it, tell her how you feel, you have nothing to lose....
Good luck...

I want her very much in my life but she has told me she felt I was previously putting her under pressure? So I'm backing off. She knows how I feel.

She is scared, trust me, she is trying to get her head around it, just tell her your there for her, give her space....then bingo..wedding bells!! :)

 

[Dirty Harry]

And now the breaker that I'd failed to mention (and probably the thing I'll regret for the rest of my life).

The other week I finished her via text in a drunken strop, I had reasons but on reflection it was a totally over the top reaction. I then spent ages making it up to her with Flowers etc. She has told me in her own words (since I dumped her for no valid reason) things haven't felt the same.

I'm thinking I've only myself to blame but I really like this lady and not sure now what to do? I'm hoping giving her time and space will be the answer. Either way if it's over because of me being a pissed up idiot the other week I'll be gutted. I thought we'd resolved it though but maybe she took it more to heart than I anticipated?

Pretty much already been said but one of the biggest things with women is the fear of 'abandonment', in effect (and in her eyes) this is what you did here mate, so I guess it's only natural for her to feel differently (and be insecure about the relationship as a result).

You obviously like the girl, that much is clear, and regret what you did, but she pretty much holds the cards and the keys now, if this was me, I'd let her know how sorry I was, then leave it and move on, she may contact you in the future, she may not, but it needs to be on her terms either way.

 

[uwe28]

Followed the advice on here, and believe me it's been difficult.

Pretty sure it's the end now anyway.

You followed advice on here? My fucking puppy's got more sence than anything I post, follow your hart and your head, in what ever order you want. No one can know all the byplay. Good look to you, come across as a sound lad

When I say I followed advice on here I meant that I've not bombarded her with texts etc.

Sod her mate get your wallet out and enjoy yourself <a class="postlink" href="http://www.sandyssuperstars.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.sandyssuperstars.com</a>

 

[Summerbuzz]

And now the breaker that I'd failed to mention (and probably the thing I'll regret for the rest of my life).

The other week I finished her via text in a drunken strop, I had reasons but on reflection it was a totally over the top reaction. I then spent ages making it up to her with Flowers etc. She has told me in her own words (since I dumped her for no valid reason) things haven't felt the same.

I'm thinking I've only myself to blame but I really like this lady and not sure now what to do? I'm hoping giving her time and space will be the answer. Either way if it's over because of me being a pissed up idiot the other week I'll be gutted. I thought we'd resolved it though but maybe she took it more to heart than I anticipated?

Pretty much already been said but one of the biggest things with women is the fear of 'abandonment', in effect (and in her eyes) this is what you did here mate, so I guess it's only natural for her to feel differently (and be insecure about the relationship as a result).

You obviously like the girl, that much is clear, and regret what you did, but she pretty much holds the cards and the keys now, if this was me, I'd let her know how sorry I was, then leave it and move on, she may contact you in the future, she may not, but it needs to be on her terms either way.

It's not just women - it's pretty much a universal 'thing'. Some people feel it more than others, or rather some people are frequently confused by the very deep seated and often conflicting emotions involved, that seem to arise out of nowhere and take over your mouth and your mind. I say conflicting because it often results in people feeling they have to abandon the other first, sort of an 'I hate you - don't leave me' kind of thing. Ironically I would guess that this is sort of what happened to the OP.

Don't feel bad, but you really won't get the best out of your relationships until you can handle these waves of emotion. The first step is to be forewarned - these feelings will appear again. Try to take some sort of ownership over them - accept that you do sometimes feel insecure but try to separate that from your reaction to the feeling. It is vital to accept that it is not the other person's fault that you feel this way.

These feelings are typically rooted in early childhood experience so don't expect them to make any sense to your adult self, and don't expect them to disappear over night. Just try and separate that childlike part of yourself from your mature self - look at yourself from the outside perspective, as you would look at someone you care about - with compassion and understanding.

When you can gain some distance and look at yourself and your behaviour with a measured but compassionate approach, then you can offer that to the people you care about. Don't promise anyone the world, you will only feel awful when you can't deliver. And don't get your hopes up too far. Relationships exist in many shades of grey. It takes time to understand your needs and those of the other persion. It may well be you are not compatible.

Maybe the idea is to enjoy the rush of emotions whilst always making sure your adult self is 'in the real world', and prepared to act compassionately to yourself and the other regardless of what the outcome is.

Good luck!

P.S. it might be wise to be careful with alcohol in your relationships, as much as it helps the good feelings flow, it leaves the door open for the unhelpful stuff to leap out unexpectedly.