Not remembering how you got home/drunken stories

[foetus]

Waking up on Saturday in a brides dress on a hallway floor after spending the night dressed as a banana was a strange experience. Red wine gives a horrible hangover!

 

[Anonymous]

I had a mate wake me up one night after an all day event that included mushrooms. "Quick, get up, there's two girls downstairs for us", he said. I got up and went downstairs wearing a jumper as a pair of pants with my cock and balls swinging out of the neck hole. The girls legged it, I went back to bed.

I cannot stop laughing at this.

 

[Citizenhill]

Just this Saturday I was out in town, hadn't been drinking too quickly and was feeling drunk but in control. Then I see my cousin, he and his missus buy me a pint and 3 Jagerbombs, I continue to drink and eventually wake up in my Granddad's house in his chair with my pants down (fuck knows what happened there), thank god he was away at my Aunty's down south.

Had another where I woke up at 12 on a Friday, literally have no recollection of the night past getting to Wetherspoons, turned out I'd got so hammered I got chucked out whatever place we were in, rung my poor mum at 2/3 in the morning to pick me up, got in a taxi or something and got halfway home, got out, got home and rang my mum saying I'd got home. Cannot remember this whatsoever, I had a massive bruise on my arm presuming from the bouncer. Ridiculous night.

 

[Esteban de la Sexface]

I shit myself one time.

 

[Leyth Blue]

Went for a lads weekend in Carcassonne a couple of weeks ago and found ourselves in the middle of the towns annual wine festival. After several hours sampling the local vino rouge and generally making a nuisance of ourselves amongst the locals in the festivities I disappeared from our group at about 2am - rest of the lads thought I had gone back to the hotel and they eventually turned in about 3am. However, I wasn't there and didn't show up til about half 3! Not a clue where I was or what I was doing for those missing couple of hours in a strange foreign town. Very scary!!!!

 

[SkyBlooo]

Went to a house party around 2 years ago.

Me and the lads were broke so we went on the Aldi paint-thinner and my lord, I'll never touch the stuff again.
First time I've ever blacked out on the booze.

Woke up next morning in my mates house on the floor of his room with about 5-6 towels over me as a blanket. Couldn't remember anything but thought nothing of it, until my mate woke up and freaked out when he seen me!

Apparently after I....

#1 Tried it on with the birthday girls' mam (Not being cheeky, proper took it too far)
#2 Walked straight into a glass door thinking it was open

I then proceeded to start a fight with a lad me and my mates didn't know resulting in a brawl between my group of mates and his. (All in the home of the beautiful birthday girl who I didn't even know!)

The reason my mate was so freaked out was because one of the lads' had apparently gave me a lift home which is about 5 miles away from his gaff! (while spitting on the car window, thinking it was rolled down)

So in my drunken state I must of got a lift home and then proceeded to make my way to my mates gaff for no apparent reason in the very early hours waking him up?
Oh no, it gets worse. Sure it's Aldi vodka.

My mate told me that he stayed out for about another hour after I was dropped off, so over a fry that morning his parents filled in the blanks and told me that I banged the house down at around 4-5am waking them up when my mate wasn't even home yet!!! I was that bad they weren't even angry they just let me stay.

Well there was also 1 more mystery, why did I have a nose like this:
<a class="postlink" href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/09/Portrait_of_a_Proboscis_Monkey.jpg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/c ... Monkey.jpg</a>

Ahh yes, walking into the glass door! ;D