Not remembering how you got home/drunken stories

Spooning your dad naked in your parents bed - being woken up by your dad yelling "what the fuck are you doing?" - funnily enough it hasn't been mentioned since!
 
A good few years ago the newly met and future Mrs Slexia took me to her home in Oxford to meet her family and introduce this cool dude she had met in Manchester.
Her father was a hard drinking Irishman and after we had some tea and I had been introduced to the rest of the family he asked me out for a drink with some of his equally pisshead workmates in the local pub. Not wanting to appear a lightweight and trying to make an impression I matched them all round for round and drink for drink. I was really feeling hammered but managed to walk back to the house and got to bed in a room I was sharing with her brother. Next thing I remember was shouting by said brother as to what I was doing as I was stood on his bed pissing out of the bedroom window and all over the curtains and his bed covers. I was so pissed I didn't reply but just finished pissing and then got back into the bed I was sleeping in. When I got up the next morning I felt there was a bit of an atmosphere and sure enough the sneaky bastard had grassed me up to his mother and the future Mrs Slexia.
You might be surprised to hear the marriage didn't last.
 
Been a reoccurring problem for me this year. Been blacking out after I've had too much...red wine in particular destroys me. Woken up 45 mins from home with no phone and no wallet. Woken up with broken phones...been through 4 smartphones since February. All lost or broken whilst drunk.

Dad found me passed out in a bush track after my uncles 50th. Don't even remember getting drunk. Apparently I had been dancing with all the 60 year old women and grinding with them in front of all my family/families friends. I'm 22 :/
 
<a class="postlink" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/drunken-french-teenagers-abduct-a-circus-llama-and-take-him-on-a-tram-ride-8920524.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world ... 20524.html</a>

didnt want to start a new topic, but that is one hell of a story to tell the grandkids!
 
dick slexia said:
A good few years ago the newly met and future Mrs Slexia took me to her home in Oxford to meet her family and introduce this cool dude she had met in Manchester.
Her father was a hard drinking Irishman and after we had some tea and I had been introduced to the rest of the family he asked me out for a drink with some of his equally pisshead workmates in the local pub. Not wanting to appear a lightweight and trying to make an impression I matched them all round for round and drink for drink. I was really feeling hammered but managed to walk back to the house and got to bed in a room I was sharing with her brother. Next thing I remember was shouting by said brother as to what I was doing as I was stood on his bed pissing out of the bedroom window and all over the curtains and his bed covers. I was so pissed I didn't reply but just finished pissing and then got back into the bed I was sleeping in. When I got up the next morning I felt there was a bit of an atmosphere and sure enough the sneaky bastard had grassed me up to his mother and the future Mrs Slexia.
You might be surprised to hear the marriage didn't last.
Click to expand...
Brilliant
 
Bluemoonie92 said:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/drunken-french-teenagers-abduct-a-circus-llama-and-take-him-on-a-tram-ride-8920524.html

didnt want to start a new topic, but that is one hell of a story to tell the grandkids!
Click to expand...

hahahaa brilliant
 
True story this. I know it sounds like a well constructed gag but I was there and heard it with my own ears.

There was an old lad at the bar of the local, one Saturday. He was clearly suffering and only there to try and get healed.

"Were you in here, after hours, last night?" he asked another auld lad.
"I was, why?" came the reply.
"Was I with you..?"
 
I had a mate wake me up one night after an all day event that included mushrooms. "Quick, get up, there's two girls downstairs for us", he said. I got up and went downstairs wearing a jumper as a pair of pants with my cock and balls swinging out of the neck hole. The girls legged it, I went back to bed.
 
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