Oddballs at your work

[GSW Blue]

Used to work with a guy who spent at least an hour of every day going round the office telling everyone how busy he was.

 

[moenchengladbach blau]

A bloke rides full pelt to work for about five miles on his mountain bike, dressed in skin tight lycra, a protective helmet and mask for the traffic fumes and immediately on arrival checks to see his average speed on mini pc on his bike if had achieved a personal best or 'PB' as he likes to call it. Then off to the bogs to remove his sweaty lycra and without a shower jumps straight into his business suit.

People see the photo on his key ring and say 'your wife looks a bit like Emily Bishop'. Wrong! He really does have a pic of Eileen Derbyshire on the tag. He is not really weird though as Emily/Eileen is only about 65 in the photo.

 

[Le Havre Oswald]

my mate at the time was a Gardener and whenever I'd help him out he'd always put a high vis jacket and safety glasses on whenever he swept up leaves or grass with a rake. What's odd is that he didn't do it when he was strimmng the edges or using the hedge cutters etc...
he's now a fully licensed commercial pilot.

 

[stony]

Back in the early 80s I was on one of those Manpower services dig a ditch schemes. Never met such a diverse band of people before or since. For anyone not familiar with the Manpower Service Commission it was Thatchers way of manipulating the unemployment figures. Anyone who had been unemployed for more than 6 months had to take a job with the MSC or lose all their benefits. So you had people who had never worked a day in their lives forced into work, craftsmen who had been made redundant and couldn't find work in their own trade, ex managers who couldn't find work and the unemployable including druggies, ex cons, people with mental health issues etc. All of them forced into working as labourers on some pointless scheme.
Violence against the supervisors or workers was a daily thing. On one of the sites in and around Rochdale someone was guaranteed to get a good shoeing every day.
Our supervisor got battered a couple of times, there were some proper scary fucking people working there. Most of the day was spent doing absolutely fuck all. We would spend the day in the cabin playing cards. Our supervisor wouldn't even attempt to come in and make us work. We also got banned from every pub in 3 mile radius of the site and I don't blame them.

 

[Stevies Bald Head!]

This has the all the hallmarks of a classic

Highly amusing

 

[stony]

I used to drive up the Hyde rd on my way to work in Bredbury in the 80s and every morning I saw a bloke in a kilt carrying one of those huge fucking boomboxes on his shoulder. Every fucker would bib at him and he would always reply with two fingers and shout fuck off as loud as he could.

 

[dan_bo]

Paul.

Buys a shedload of out of date butties at 10p a pop and has them for lunch for the next fortnight.

Came in the other morning ranting to fuck about his gas bill. Proper kicking off. Phones the gas company and spends the next 15 minutes ranting at the girl down the phone, barely taking a breath. Hilarious in itself.


Then the girl finally gets a word in.



'But sir, we don't provide your gas or electric.'

 

[jazzy]

Work in civil service, enough said

 

[mat]

Graduated managers put in on "Company development plans" who's only knowledge of my work is when Thomas The Tank Engine derailed into a ditch.

 

[JOGAMIGMOG]

I work with a load of women. Most of them support Manchester United. End of thread.