old but still good words and phrases.

[pips]

Has yer cat died?

(pants too short/half mast)

lol funny as fuck not heard that for years cant stop laughing nice one .

 

[Ancient Citizen]

like watching paint dry - just how I feel now watching that clock on the pc, willing it to be 14:00

Or, 'Like watching a coffin warp.'

 

[BlueHammer85]

Your mum

 

[FuZzY]

About as welcome as a fart in a telephone box.

As worn out as a cucumber in a convent

As pissed as a fart in a vacuum cleaner

As useful as a one armed trapeze artist with an itchy arse

He's got more wrinkles than an Elephants scrotum

As tight as a Camels arse in a Sand-storm

About as subtle as a flying brick

Lights on, door open, nobody at home

 

[johnmc]

Smash her back doors in - very old but has seen a resurgence. Now vastly over used

 

[gordondaviesmoustache]

I particulary like the expression "ne'er do well" to describe feckless youths.

Another expression I use for no apparent reason is "curmudgeon" to denote miserable old cunts.

My favourite idiom is "even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day". I expect to use this expression if Gary Neville ever says anything sensible as a pundit on Sky.

 

[big gaz]

" more faces than the towm hall clock "
" I'll go to the top of our stairs "

 

[whosonthebench]

My mate likes to make up his own rhyming slang, which cracks me up when ever I hear a new one because they're shit.

Union Jack - back
Plates of meat - feet
canoes - shoes
bobby moore - floor

 

[MikeBlue]

Cockamania.....

Not sure exactly what it means but Eastwood uses it in the film In the Line of Fire and it sounds great and he says not to let that phrase die out so I try to use it from time to time.

 

[big gaz]

" up the golly dancers "