old but still good words and phrases.

[MikeBlue]

My mate likes to make up his own rhyming slang, which cracks me up when ever I hear a new one because they're shit.

Union Jack - back
Plates of meat - feet
canoes - shoes
bobby moore - floor

I have a mate like that too

Nigel Ben - Ten
Jack and Jill - Till
Eddy Izzard - Card

They are so random they just crack me up.

 

[Gaylord du Bois]

She had a fanny like a clowns pocket

..........like a donkey's yawn.

..like a horses collar and a clit like a blind cobblers thumb.

 

[MikeBlue]

Do you think the collars and cuffs match?

 

[simonr555]

Couldn't find your arse with both hands.

 

[whosonthebench]

couldn't score in a brothel with £50 wrapped round his cock.

 

[MikeBlue]

Couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery!

 

[-dabz-]

I was pissing like the co-op horse.
Im fuller than a fat mans shoe/bandits rifle.
Like throwing a chip up Market street.
Face like a welders bench/plasterers radio.
She was dripping like a fucked tap.
If shit was rice pudding.
Shaking like a shitting dog.
Face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle.

 

[Cellarite]

my mam's mate used to say "what do you want me to do? shit in my hands and clap it to?"

 

[mammutly]

like a bull at a gate

Just as broad as long

Face like the back of a bus

Face like a smacked arse

mard arse

There's nowt so queer as folk

 

[Hamann Pineapple]

Stop picking your nose, your head'll cave in