Older Dads - Advice Please?

[Why Always Ste]

Coke and hookers?

Lol did the hookers thing years ago whilst travelling in Thailand.
Never done Coke though - not my thing.

 

[Gareth Barry Conlon]

Lol did the hookers thing years ago whilst travelling in Thailand.
Never done Coke though - not my thing.

I think you share too much.

 

[meeesh]

If Dad left when he was 5 in 1990?

Work it out for yourself?

Alrite alrite I read it again,and said so in another post

 

[JoeMercer'sWay]

Lol did the hookers thing years ago whilst travelling in Thailand.
Never done Coke though - not my thing.

why? are you a puff Pepsi boy?

 

[Bigga]

You need to let the baggage go, you need a private outlet to get it out of your system, and then move on. If you drag it round in life like you drag it round the forum, it's only going to hold you back. Learn from it, and move on.

I never understand this kind of statement. "Let the baggage go" is impossible for anyone. If you mean compartmentalise it, that's different.

If something isn't resolved, in some way, it's never let go. Ever.

It's just boxed and sometimes shoddily so.

It will always come to you, whether it's small or big pieces.

 

[JoeMercer'sWay]

I never understand this kind of statement. "Let the baggage go" is impossible for anyone. If you mean compartmentalise it, that's different.

If something isn't resolved, in some way, it's never let go. Ever.

It's just boxed and sometimes shoddily so.

It will always come to you, whether it's small or big pieces.

you can let the baggage go, not the incident itself perhaps, but you can find ways not to drag it round with you letting it pull you down, and instead use it to strengthen your resolve and move on as a better person from learning from it. I'm speaking from my own experiences btw, not preaching for anyone to "get over it".

 

[uweuweuwe]

suggest you get in touch with these people you'll get more professional advise and support than anyone on here can offer.

http://www.survivorsmanchester.org.uk/

good luck

 

[halfcenturyup]

Just read all this. I am mid 50s, father of 4 from first marriage, divorced, moved to Thailand, new family, twins three years ago. On good terms with the ex-wife and kids though.

Seems to me, you have addressed your issues with him rather publicly on two occasions (the only two occasions you have done so?), first in front of his new wife and your then girlfriend and then on Facebook.

I am trying to see this from his perspective. He may feel he has to protect his new family publicly. What could he do if his new wife denies it? Call her a liar? Maybe you need to address this one on one. You can write it down (just not on bloody Facebook), or face to face, but get it out in the open. Apologise for the way you handled things in the past, but explain the events and how they have made it hard for you to deal with them. If there is any future for the two of you, you will get the right response. If you don't at least the whole exercise may be cathartic.

One last piece of advice. Get married and have kids, lots of them. The past is important but the future is what everything is about. Have 6 kids and you won't have much time to worry about the past ;)

Good luck.

 

[sir baconface]

We get to hung up on our obligations to blood relatives, at the end of the day they are like anyone else. if the bring you pain/misery/upset you don't need that person in your life

All too true, mate. Unfortunately.

 

[Dogtanian]

Never knew or met my Dad, i have a son who i would never leave,never abandon and always be there for, anyone who leaves their kids no matter what age is not even worth pissing on if they was on fire imo.