Oliver Holt (Mirror) hates Nani

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Akira

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<a class="postlink" href="http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/opinion/columnists/oliver-holt/Oliver-Holt-column-Manchester-United-s-Nani-won-t-be-my-player-of-the-season-for-his-scowling-and-play-acting-but-Scott-Parker-Luka-Modric-Jack-Wilshere-Nemanja-Vidic-and-John-Terry-could-be-article718099.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/opinion ... 18099.html</a>

Why scowling, play-acting Nani won't be my player of the season
By Oliver Holt
Published 22:58 29/03/11


A Manchester United fan asked me the other day if I would consider voting for Nani as Footballer of the Year.

Well, maybe there is a way of saying this more gently but I’m not going to waste time searching for it...

I’d get my back waxed before I voted for Nani.

If it was a choice between him and the beach ball that scored against Liverpool last season, I’d take the beach ball.

If it was vote Nani or watch a box-set of Ian Wright on Live From Studio Five, I’d settle down in front of the TV.

If Ashley Cole said it was either put the cross by the Portuguese or help him with target practice, I’d start running to and fro across the firing range.

You’re getting my drift.

Nani’s not in my top five this season. He’s not even in my top 20.

I don’t like him.

I don’t like the way he plays the game.

I don’t like his puerility, his petulance or his play-acting.

I don’t like his blatant efforts to gain an unfair advantage.

I know that, by some criteria, he has had a fine season for United. He has scored crucial goals. He is a fine dribbler. His game has matured.

But that’s not enough. Not when you behave the way he does. Not when you do what he did against Spurs this season.

Not when you try a delayed dive that could easily have got Younes Kaboul sent off. Not when you then handle the ball as you fall.

And not when you take advantage of confusion between the referee and Spurs goalkeeper Heurelho Gomes to kick the ball into an empty net.

I don’t care which United players were urging him to do it - it is still probably the most glaring example of bad sportsmanship this season.

Nani’s at it all the time. He goes down like he has been shot at the merest excuse. He waves imaginary cards at referees to try to get opponents booked.

And here’s the saddest thing - despite the backflips and the cartwheels when he scores, there is actually very little joy in his game.

He plays with a scowl. He plays with anger. He plays like everyone is against him. It has become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

When he was genuinely hurt by a shocking challenge from Jamie Carragher at Anfield earlier this month, no one believed him at first because of his history.

He had a gash in his leg that put him out for a week but he’s cried wolf so often that when he really was a victim of a bad tackle, people thought he was up to his old tricks again.

Being anti-Nani isn’t an anti-United thing. Not for me anyway.

I wouldn’t vote for Didier Drogba for exactly the same reasons.

And, yes, I accept that England players like Steven Gerrard, Michael Owen and Wayne Rooney have been guilty of winning penalties with dives in the past.

Cristiano Ronaldo did his share of play-acting, too, but I came to appreciate that he was one of the bravest players in our league.

He rode plenty of bad tackles and he took way more punishment than Nani. He was also twice the player that Nani is.

It would be nice to think that Nani will change. That he will come to realise that in order to win wider respect in England, he needs to cut out some of the melodrama.

Until that happens, he’s not in the reckoning for Footballer of the Year as far as I’m concerned.

My vote is going to Scott Parker, for the way he has held West Ham together almost single-handedly as they fight against relegation.

Parker has been an inspiration at Upton Park, playing through injury, even playing against Spurs 10 days ago a few hours after the death of his father. He has been a beacon of excellence in a struggling team.

He has given everything to the cause. He has done it without moaning and without agitating for a move. He exudes class off the pitch and on it.

There are plenty of others for whom you could say the same.

My top five this season are Parker, Luka Modric, Jack Wilshere, Nemanja Vidic and John Terry.

So here’s a tip for Nani. When you play at Upton Park on Saturday, try and stay on your feet for a couple of minutes.

And while you’re there, take a look at how Parker goes about his business.

You never know, you might learn something.
Click to expand...

Great read, for me that is. :) Hate Nani with a passion.


Cheers.
 
His top 5 is quite strange but nani isnt in it hahaha I would defo have Parker in their Kompany,Nasri,Adam and Baines what do other people think??
 
anthonydunn87 said:
His top 5 is quite strange but nani isnt in it hahaha I would defo have Parker in their Kompany,Nasri,Adam and Baines what do other people think??
Click to expand...

Parker, Kompany, Vidic, Barton, Adam
 
Was nice to read, because Nani is soft and an utter cheat. But he doesn't half go on and exadurate things. If it was a City player he was talking about id be in uproar for the way he has spoken.
'Class on and off the pitch'
So you choose John Terry in your top 5 then? Twat.

My five would be:
Kompany, Parker, Adam, Nasri, Wilshere
 
gaudinho's stolen car said:
Tevez should win it he's had an excellent season. The thing that's fucked it for him is the transfer request debacle. As Jim Bowen would say, "Let's have a look at what you could have won".
Click to expand...

He's not been great lately though, something like 10 games without a goal? This could hurt his chances, he could have run away with the top goalscorer award if he'd stayed in form as Berbatov has become a bench warmer at the scum but still has two more than Tevez.
 
What a fucking balloon.

Somebody won't vote for someone as Footballer of the Year because he 'doesn't personally like them'?

He dives; so what? Everybody dives. Tevez dives. Rooney dives. Gerrard dives. AJ purposefully runs into places where he can get a defender to tackle him, so that he can dive.

He doesn't like his petulance? Oliver FUCKING Holt doesn't like somebody's petulance? That's like Martin Luther King saying that he hates black people. He's the deity of petulant wankers.

The idea that Nani plays purely with anger is so stupid that I'm finding this hard to comprehend. I could write a more accurate description piece of Nani if I headbutted the keyboard and just published whatever came out. Here you go:


6nmy,jjjjjjjjjjjjjb0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

The above is at least 17 times more accurate than Oliver Holt's piece.

Parker has done well for West Ham, but he's hardly single-handedly keeping them afloat and it's this type of attitude towards things that has wrecked player after player. The secret in football, that Holt needs to learn, is that a single player CANNOT EVER carry a whole team. That isn't how the game works. Pointing towards somebody furthers this myth and when we come to international tournaments, we get disappointed that our Great White Hope didn't carry us to victory then get on their back.
There are 10 other players on the West Ham pitch who work just as hard as Parker every week but don't get the same adulation or respect. Unless Parker has saved every shot, made every tackle and scored every goal without an assist, then he hasn't single-handedly kept West Ham afloat. Again, this shows a complete lack of understanding about how the game of football is played by Holt. He knows as much about this game as I do about volleyball.

Typical fucking wank spewed by the British Sports Press, who have the collective sporting IQ of Homer Simpson. Only in this country would we criticise a sportsman because OUR IMPRESSION of their attitude means that WE THINK they are petulant. In every other country, they judge players and write stories based on their ability to play football. In this country, we write on their ability to be a certain type of person that we expect them to be. A player who is "typically English", runs round a lot, never complains, always has a smile on his face and isn't afraid to get stuck in on the pitch yet is a monk off of it. That player has never existed, which is why so many top players over here get slated.

The cold hard truth, is that Nani is currently the best winger in the Premier League. He has more assists and goals than most, can turn a trick, can break away and does his job defensively. He can go wide and cross or cut in and shoot. He is up there with the Robbens of this world and is quite a large bit younger.

Oliver Holt on the other hand, is a fucking wanker who needs writes like he's only just learnt how. He writes in single sentences, like his audience is too fucking stupid to discuss a point for more than a few words. It's like he reads bulletpoints, then just removes the bullet and prints it. He's a tool who has very little idea on football, on how to be a journalist, or on how to be a passable human being.

I hope he gets sacked and relegated to the position where his talent belongs; writing short stories for some jazz mag like Razzle or Escort, the self-important wanker.
 
Damocles said:
What a fucking balloon.

Somebody won't vote for someone as Footballer of the Year because he 'doesn't personally like them'?

He dives; so what? Everybody dives. Tevez dives. Rooney dives. Gerrard dives. AJ purposefully runs into places where he can get a defender to tackle him, so that he can dive.

He doesn't like his petulance? Oliver FUCKING Holt doesn't like somebody's petulance? That's like Martin Luther King saying that he hates black people. He's the deity of petulant wankers.

The idea that Nani plays purely with anger is so stupid that I'm finding this hard to comprehend. I could write a more accurate description piece of Nani if I headbutted the keyboard and just published whatever came out. Here you go:


6nmy,jjjjjjjjjjjjjb0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

The above is at least 17 times more accurate than Oliver Holt's piece.

Parker has done well for West Ham, but he's hardly single-handedly keeping them afloat and it's this type of attitude towards things that has wrecked player after player. The secret in football, that Holt needs to learn, is that a single player CANNOT EVER carry a whole team. That isn't how the game works. Pointing towards somebody furthers this myth and when we come to international tournaments, we get disappointed that our Great White Hope didn't carry us to victory then get on their back.
There are 10 other players on the West Ham pitch who work just as hard as Parker every week but don't get the same adulation or respect. Unless Parker has saved every shot, made every tackle and scored every goal without an assist, then he hasn't single-handedly kept West Ham afloat. Again, this shows a complete lack of understanding about how the game of football is played by Holt. He knows as much about this game as I do about volleyball.

Typical fucking wank spewed by the British Sports Press, who have the collective sporting IQ of Homer Simpson. Only in this country would we criticise a sportsman because OUR IMPRESSION of their attitude means that WE THINK they are petulant. In every other country, they judge players and write stories based on their ability to play football. In this country, we write on their ability to be a certain type of person that we expect them to be. A player who is "typically English", runs round a lot, never complains, always has a smile on his face and isn't afraid to get stuck in on the pitch yet is a monk off of it. That player has never existed, which is why so many top players over here get slated.

The cold hard truth, is that Nani is currently the best winger in the Premier League. He has more assists and goals than most, can turn a trick, can break away and does his job defensively. He can go wide and cross or cut in and shoot. He is up there with the Robbens of this world and is quite a large bit younger.

Oliver Holt on the other hand, is a fucking wanker who needs writes like he's only just learnt how. He writes in single sentences, like his audience is too fucking stupid to discuss a point for more than a few words. It's like he reads bulletpoints, then just removes the bullet and prints it. He's a tool who has very little idea on football, on how to be a journalist, or on how to be a passable human being.

I hope he gets sacked and relegated to the position where his talent belongs; writing short stories for some jazz mag like Razzle or Escort, the self-important wanker.
Click to expand...

Hahahahahaha.

Can somebody e-mail this post to Holt? Very good.
 
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