Opticians

[Barcon]

I have never tried to have sex with a midge, especially not at 500 yards. Good for you mate...:)

He must have threw his cock at it.

 

[KS55]

I have an incipient cataract but it has not progressed in recent years. Lazy left eye.

 

[J.G.Blue.]

I have an incipient cataract but it has not progressed in recent years. Lazy left eye.

Weird, my left eyes quite perky but the rest of my body is bone idle?

 

[Uncle Wally One Ball]

I have contact lenses. Noticed Ibwasnt picking the ball up sharp enough in the field playing cricket if I was out on the boundary. Normally field closer at mid wicket or on the 45 like but if further I wasnt seeing it. Went for new test. They said Ive got astigmatism in one eye so new ones made up. Beauty now, I can see into next week

 

[Bournemouth Blue]

Never saw that one coming

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

The Specsavers optician brings out a card with the letters

C R W I N O K S T A Z

"Can you read the letters" asks the optician.

The Polish man:"Read it?
I know the guy."

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Lens are shit

 

[RadcliffeRick]

I have contact lenses. Noticed Ibwasnt picking the ball up sharp enough in the field playing cricket if I was out on the boundary. Normally field closer at mid wicket or on the 45 like but if further I wasnt seeing it. Went for new test. They said Ive got astigmatism in one eye so new ones made up. Beauty now, I can see into next week

Can you give me Saturdays lottery numbers please.

 

[Uncle Wally One Ball]

Can you give me Saturdays lottery numbers please.

It didnt help my number dyspraxia unfortunately. So the answer is yes, and no

 

[RadcliffeRick]

It didnt help my number dyspraxia unfortunately. So the answer is yes, and no

It was worth a try I guess :-)